Subterfuge
by Albion19
Summary: Bonnie enters the 1994 prison world alone. After enduring five months of isolation she pulls a not so dead man from a lake. Kai guards his past and secrets as he gains Bonnie's trust and more as they work together to find a way out. Bonkai.
1. Chapter 1

She wrapped her body around the dead man, pressed her face against his and whispered every arcane and made up spell she could think of to bring him back. She could once resurrect the dead with her words and darkness, now she was so desperately lonely she would divide half of her life with this stranger just to hear another voice.

It had been five months since May, since the other side collapsed and she had washed up in this empty world alone. Damon had been pulled into the sky, into darkness, and she had since spent sleepless nights wishing she had followed him. There must be company in hell. Don't they always say that place was other people? They were wrong.

"Please, please, please…" she breathed her pleas against his cold ear, brushing her trembling fingers through his damp hair. He was pale, of course, and he looked very young and still. He was to Bonnie in that moment beautiful, she had never touched anything so precious and he was dead. Anger erupted through her chest and she smacked his face. Who would torture her in such a way? Why had her grandmother sent her to such a dreadful and lonely place only to have the first person she had seen in months wash up on a lake shore dead? Why Whitmore of all places? Was he a student?

Maybe he was another hallucination.

Bonnie sat up, staring down at him. He was in a plain grey t-shirt, a blue plaid shirt and black jeans. His feet were bare. She found his clothes before she spotted his body floating in the water. Why take his chucks off? Fold his jacket neatly and leave his pager by the waterside? It was too detailed to be her isolated imagination, which had so far offered up flashing lights in the corner of her eye and odd sounds. She was not insane, not yet. The man was real…but dead.

"Suicide…" she touched his face gently, swept away by an intense feeling of kinship and understanding. She had no magic, though she practised every day to manifest it. She had tried to keep strong, to talk to the camcorder – _cammy_ – to sing and read and dance but the loneliness was crushing. It started to disintegrate her mind. She started to doubt she was alive, that she was _real_ at all without anyone to tell her otherwise. She bit her lip, tasting brine, and lowered her cheek to his chest. His heart was perfectly still, she heard not a beat or breath. She squeezed her eyes shut and cried again, wrapping her leg over his hip as the sun started to disappear behind the moon.

Bonnie prayed to the eclipse, a thing that she was starting to anthropomorphise like her teddy bear and camcorder. She offered up sacrifices and compromises, begging to do better in future, imagining that her granny could hear her through the black circle forming in the sky. It was a tunnel to some other world, a world where she and this man should be. It was all some huge cosmic fuck up.

"I've given so much…just give me this. Half my life is his, okay? Forty for me, forty for him…longer, witches live a long time…please don't leave me alone here," she begged him, looking down at his face and kissed his lips gently. She pulled back, blinking, one hand cupping his face. Was he warmer, his lips pinker? As the eclipse blocked the light she felt a perverse power flooding her. She had tried for months to channel the celestial event but her magic had been cemented and unreachable, possibly for good. She had died and become a liminal thing, one foot in the grave to anchor it. Maybe she was not even a witch anymore. But she willed it then, pulling on any magic that would respond and poured it through her hands and into his body.

It was pure madness, the mechanics of a desperate woman, but in that moment she felt divine. She was not real in that place so why not be a god? They must not feel magic, it is what they are, what they see and hear. To such it was nothing. The moon parted, offering a dim sickle of light and Bonnie kissed the dead man fiercely, forcing her tongue into his mouth before the moment passed. She pulled back, her lips throbbing from the force of her kiss, and breathed into his mouth. The sun appeared, brightening the air and the birds began to sing, confused and tentative after the premature darkness.

He remained still, lips parted and a little rouged by her mouth, but nothing passed them. Bonnie clawed her fingers, scratching his jaw before she screamed and pressed her face against his chest again. His clothes were almost dry. She remained lying on him for hours, a numb calm descending and she knew that waiting for landmarks on her calendar was not going to pull her on. Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday were all meaningless. No one was coming because no one knew she was here, waiting to be saved. She should just stay on the lake shore with him, fall asleep and die.

A gurgling noise reached her ears as the sun began to sink. It was a wet, deep sloshing sound and she frowned. She was stiff and cold, colder than the man below her. She listened to the rattling sound and held her breath, counted to ten. On seven the man convulsed and sucked in a rattling breath.

"Oh my god!" she fell off him as he coughed up lake water, turning onto his side to vomit onto the sand. She was stunned and could only stare as he coughed and gasped for air until he lay groaning. The movement of his back, the rapid rise and fall of it made Bonnie shuffle closer and reach out to touch his shoulder.

"Who?!" he looked at her sharply and Bonnie snatched her hand back. Wide blue eyes peered at her in shock before they narrowed. "…You're not real," he said in a hoarse voice and sighed in annoyance, which turned into another fit of coughing.

Bonnie opened her mouth to respond but could not. The dilemma of her existence had been keeping her up at night and exhausted her days. If the dead man said she was unreal then who was she to argue? Maybe she _was_ dead. At least she would have company…

"…Are you?" she asked and at the sound of her voice he inhaled sharply and became very still. His pupils dilated, making his eyes look black in the dimming light. He lifted his hand, as if to touch her but pulled it back. He squinted, licking his lips.

"Am I finally dead? For real this time? No fake outs?" he asked and the confusion and _hope_ in his voice made her want to laugh and scream. He could be saying anything and she could listen for hours.

"You – you were dead. I pulled you out of the lake. I tried to resuscitate you. I was a life guard in – in another life. I tried but you wouldn't breathe so I had to bring you back another way. I think it worked, I think I did it. Do – do you feel alive or do you feel like me?" her words rattled and shook like her hands and he now stared at her like a starving man driven crazy with need.

"Are…are you here to let me out?"

"What? I – I don't understand? I've been here for five months, I think. You're the first person I've seen. I thought I was alone. I _was_ alone…I wanted to die, I wanted to die," she repeated and cried. He sat up suddenly, getting to his knees, and reached out to grasp her face. It was not gentle and his hand covered her mouth and nose, thumb and fingers pressing into her cheeks. Tears rolled over his fingers and she breathed hot and heavy against the palm of his hand. Being touched, even painfully, felt too wonderful to articulate.

"Oh my god, you're real," he breathed, a stark light in his eyes, and roughly pulled Bonnie into his arms.

* * *

 ** _a.n:_**

 _This story will be about them slowly getting very close as they find a way to get out, Bonnie having no idea who he is or what he has done. I always wondered what would have happened if Kai had not been so blase about revealing why he was imprisoned and instead was more careful, not jeopardising his chance to get out. So this story will explore that and how it changes their dynamic._


	2. Chapter 2

His name was Kai and he had been here for a long time. They sat at the end of her bed in the dorm, the silence broken by her voice. He remained quiet, never taking his blue eyes off her. His gaze was attentive and hungry, unapologetically so and she did not mind. She was staring at him with an equal intensity.

After the sun had sunk and she had finally pulled herself off him he had driven them back to the college. She had been staying in the dorm room, which had been occupied by jocks during May 10 1994. Clothes still damp Kai had shivered from the cold she had pointed out the clothes left behind, plaid shirts and tees that he seemed to like. She should have showered but she did not want to lose sight of him. She had turned away while he changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He had spoken the whole time, making sure she knew he was still there.

"I feel like you're gonna disappear every time I look away," she confessed as they sat beside each other and he smirked lightly. He placed his hand in hers and she inhaled deeply. Every touch sent a hot vibration through her that she had never felt before. Not being touched for so long the barest graze of his fingers was overwhelming.

"I'm not going anywhere. You saved my life," he said with gratitude and she stared with pity. He had killed himself and somehow she had brought him back. It was magic, it had to be. She had been unable to draw on magic for so long, not even Expression, but something bought him back. Bonnie gripped his hand tightly and Kai shifted a little, breathing shallow.

"I was about to give up before I saw you. It's a miracle what happened…" she said with conviction and he gave a weak smile, looking away. Did he believe in magic? Who was this man? She had asked him if he had been on the Otherside when it collapsed, had he got pulled into this strange world like she had. He had only shaken his head, looking deeply confused.

Kai looked back at her, smiling. He appeared in his early twenties, with a thin, handsome face and neat dark hair. A small voice that sounded a lot like Caroline voiced the opinion that if she was stuck on the planet with one person then at least he was cute. Very cute. Be thankful for small mercies. Pushing these observations aside Bonnie watched him as he stifled a yawn.

"Are you tired? You can sleep here if you like?"

"You sure?" he looked at the other beds and Bonnie nodded, smiling.

"Be kinda sucky of me to throw you out. You're the only other person here."

He cocked an eyebrow, bemused. "So if there was someone else I'd be out on my ass? If it was Brad Pitt or something?"

"No! I want you to stay! And Brad Pitt is decrepit," she added, which made him laugh. It was a nice sound. God she wanted to hear more, selfishly keep him up the entire night talking. Despite his drowsiness he stayed seated with her.

"Damn, what year do you come from?"

"2012."

He opened his mouth but no words emerged. He blinked, nodding and then smirked. "2012? Did the world end? Is that why you're here?"

Bonnie grinned, shaking her head. "No…I was sent here by my grandmother, to save me from the collapse. The spirits were being dragged away into nothing," she explained, lost in memory before looking at his watchful face. She laughed. "I'm sorry, this must sound so weird to you. How did you end you here?"

"Well I wasn't on the Otherside or anything. There – there was this metal device, chanting and then this bright white light. I opened my eyes and I was exactly where I had fallen only I was alone."

Bonnie nodded vigorously. "That's what happened to me but there was no device or chanting."

"Are you sure? It looks like this," he dragged his backpack up from the floor and then pulled out a round tarnished silver contraption. "This is a duplicate I made. It's called an ascendant," he handed it over to her and she inspected it. It was the size of her palm, made up of interlocking plates, with gears and wheels. Symbols ringed the edge. On the back of the plate were a set of initials: _M.P_.

"I've never seen it before. You think it sent you here?"

"It's a key. I made this so I wouldn't forget what it looked like. I did research; found anything I could about it. It's the key to getting out of this place."

Bonnie looked up from the fake ascendant and stared at him. "It can get us out?"

"It's one of the ingredients. I need the real one, which is in this world somewhere. A celestial event which is plentiful," he deadpanned, counting off on his fingers. "And the spell."

"Spell?" she blinked at him as he nodded.

"Yeah. The eclipse is a boost to get me – I mean we – over. I have part of the spell," he said, digging into his backpack but Bonnie griped his wrist tightly, placing the device on her lap.

"Are – are you a witch?"

Kai smirked. "I know it sounds crazy but yeah, sorta. You must be supernatural too right? Otherwise you wouldn't be on the Otherside. I don't have any power here but there's always a loophole."

Something wild and strange erupted inside her and she laughed. Kinship. "I'm a witch too."

Kai stared at her, his hand still in his bag. He clenched his jaw, his nostrils flaring and then he moved. His hands ringed her bare arms with a desperate strength, enough to hurt but she was too excited to care.

"I don't have any magic, I haven't for the last five months," she explained as he looked up with clear disappointment and his fingers loosened.

"Five months?"

"Well, longer actually. I couldn't practise for about two years but I think this is different. I couldn't feel it before at all but this time…" she inhaled and closed her eyes. "I can feel nature, I can feel it inside me but it's so deep. I can't reach it."

His fingers dug into her flesh for a moment before he lets go and she opened her eyes. Kai rubbed his thumbs gently over the back of her hands. "Guess we're in the same magicless boat huh?"

"I know, sucks right?"

"Majorly," he chuckled and then sighed. "God I'm so psyched you're here! You have no idea how long I've wanted this."

"How long have you been here?"

He hesitated before shrugging. "The days literally blur into one but well, it's been longer than five months. But it's doesn't matter, now I have more chance of getting out then I ever had before. I was waiting all this time for you."

His gaze was open and so full of hope and wonder that she felt her stomach at once flip and scrunch. She looked down at their clasped hands. "I want to get out but without magic I'm…useless."

"If you are then what does that make me? We'll be useless together!" he urged and she looked up, smirking. "Come on, with some motivation I think you'll be back on track."

"I suppose all these months of cussing myself out might not have been the best approach. What about you? Are you blocked too?" she asked inquisitively and he paused, looking down before slowly pulling his hands away from her. He shrugged and packed the replicate device away.

"No, it's something else. I – uh. Well it's kinda hard to talk about. People, other witches, can be kinda…" he struggled to speak, looking deeply uncomfortable and Bonnie leaned closer, staring into his eyes.

"It's okay. Were you cursed or..?"

Kai snorted and looked up. "My parents thought so. Have you heard of siphoning before?" he asked tentatively and Bonnie shook her head. He nodded, looking a little more at ease. "I'm kinda of an anomaly, for a witch. I can't generate magic of my own, I have to absorb it from other sources."

"Other sources? You mean other witches?"

"Yeah. It's kinda painful and you always lose what you don't use. If I don't have a supply I can't do magic. My – my coven hated witches like me, thought we were abnormal, literal magic leeches. It's pretty much the reason I'm here," he admitted and Bonnie leaned back a little.

"I've never heard of it. How do you take magic?"

He lifted his hand and hovered it over hers. "Through touch," he said and watched as her hand curled into her lap. He smirked at the sudden look of shame on her face. "It's cool, I'm used to it. It's pretty freaky."

"No it's not. I'm sorry, I've just never come across another witch like you. I don't mind you touching me, in fact I kinda like it more than I should under normal circumstances," she admitted with a strained laugh. "I barely know you but I don't think you're a freak or anything like that. Magic or no magic, it doesn't define who you are. It – it took me a long time to understand that and I still am. Being a witch you're so focused on what you can produce you know? How you can use your gift to help others. You kinda forget about yourself in the process…"

She lost focus before realising that Kai was staring at her with incredulity. "Help? You're a witch, not a fairy godmother."

Bonnie laughed. "You have no idea how many balls I never attended…" she sighed sadly, thinking of her friends. "They must all think I'm dead, for real this time. My friends and family. Jeremy…"

"Who?" he narrowed his eyes and she shook her head, guilty heat spiking through her for an inexplicable reason.

"No one. Come on, you should rest," she motioned to the bed across the room. Kai stood and stretched, exposing his hard stomach and happy trail. Bonnie snapped her eyes to his faintly smirking face. She ushered him towards the bed, which would one day be Elena's. He flung himself down and sprawled out. He stuffed the pillow under his head and smiled up at her.

"Tomorrow we'll get planning. After breakfast."

"I'd like that. I uh, I'm gonna have a shower," she said and stood there awkwardly until he raised his eyebrows.

"Okay? I'll be right here, I promise I won't go anywhere."

"Same. I know this is super weird, we've just met but – but we have to trust each other."

He nodded, growing serious. "We do. Today was not the best first impression I wanted to give. I'm sorry. I just…it's lonely and it can be too much sometimes."

"Don't apologise. I know how hard it is," she gazed at him in deep understanding and that sense of kinship deepened. He knew exactly what she had been feeling for the last few months.

Kai nodded and then brightened, offering his hand to her. "Hi, I'm Kai Parker. You must be my new coed roomie."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bonnie Bennett," she said, playing along with a smile and shook his hand. She did not want the siphoner witch to think she was repulsed or sheepish so she kept hold of his hand. At the sound of her name he stopped moving and the teasing smile dimmed.

"Bennett? You're a Bennett witch?" his fingers tightened.

"Yeah, you've heard of me?"

"Oh, only by reputation," he said and as his grip became almost painful he let go. Bonnie smiled and after a beat he returned it. He yawned again and Bonnie took that as her cue to shower. As she closed the door she wondered briefly if he was any relation to Liv and Luke Parker but dismissed it. Parker was a common name and the twins never mentioned having a brother.


	3. Chapter 3

A being made of fire rested beside her in the bed. Shifting amber light illuminated the dark, a molten movement that reminded her of lava lamps. It laid a hand of magma on her bare arm and the heat that had been a comfort at her back suddenly flared into a scorching blaze. She screamed, tried to get up but the strange figure rolled on top of her and her body was engulfed and consumed. The fire flared and died and the figure became dark and cold and somehow she remained. Fingertips rested on her shoulder and she felt no pain, just a pressure.

"…You're having a nightmare, I think," a voice whispered and she tried to open her eyes but sleep had her in a grip and she could only nod and fall back to sleep. His concerned hand remained on her shoulder as she rolled over, her own hand clumsily brushing against his and he pulled away.

* * *

She woke that morning with two thoughts: what a weird dream and had she _really_ invited a total stranger to share the dorm room with her? Sitting up she saw the unmade but empty bed across from her and nodded.

 _Yes, yes I did…_ But on the heels of her slight unease she scolded herself. If her suspicions were right he was the only other person in the entire world. She did not hand over trust easily but she had been so lonely and without hope that he could be the devil himself and it wouldn't matter, not if it meant she had someone to talk to, to touch.

 _God, I'm crazy. Crazy enough to hallucinate?_

She stared at the crumpled sheets with a frown. So far her uninterrupted isolation had produced flashing lights at the edge of her vision and the occasional voice in her ears, the latter of which she had cured by listening to a portable Walkman every day. A full blown hallucination seemed something her frayed mind would conjure up at least a year or two into her one woman adventures.

"Not that cracked, not yet…"

"Oh thank god, you're still here. I thought I'd find an empty room. It's not the first time," Kai said as he suddenly walked into the room carrying a tray. At the sight of him, the sound of his voice, Bonnie could not help gasp. The simple presence of another person was ridiculously overwhelming. She scrunched the covers in her fists and smiled at his beaming face as he settled the breakfast tray on the bedside table. She felt like bursting into tears but stuffed that embarrassing emotion away before it could take over.

"You – you made this?" she focused on the tray. There were two plates of scrambled eggs, fried bacon, toast and bread rolls still warm from the oven. In the corner was a black vase filled with miniature daffodils.

"Yup. I can do _so_ much better but that's all I could find in the kitchen," he picked up a cup of coffee, sitting in the armchair beside the bed as Bonnie placed the tray on her lap.

"Thank you…God, this is so weird. I'm trying not to behave like a crazy person," said Bonnie as she waved her hand at her eyes while smiling. "I'd given up hope of ever seeing anyone. Is it really just us?"

Kai nodded, biting into his toast. "I never saw anyone else and I tried everything I could to send signals. I never heard a word back. It's just you and me," he stared at her before looking down into his coffee with a strange smile. She gazed at his face in the morning light, taking the opportunity to search over his features before he looked back up. He had died the day before, it could have been an accident but she knew instantly he had taken his own life. She touched the back of his hand and spoke softly.

"How are you?"

"Huh?" he looked back up, looking mildly confused before his mouth opened in understanding. He shrugged. "I'm fine. Now you're here things will be better. So I promise not to piss you off."

Bonnie smiled. "Trust me it takes a lot to drive me away and under these bizarre, sucky circumstances…well you're stuck with me."

"Good."

They smiled at each other before Kai urged her to continue eating before the food got cold. That morning and afternoon they sat or walked around campus, talking about their lives. Kai in particular was eager to know about her old life, her family and coven.

"Coven?" she snorted as they walked towards Whitmore Hospital. She was dressed in a long green cotton dress, leather sandals on her feet. It was very warm for May. "That assumes I know more than two witches. I don't."

"Why not?" he stopped and they sat on a bench under a cherry blossom tree, the smell of it heavy on the air. He was dressed in chucks, jeans and wore a blue plaid shirt over a white tee. A staple, Bonnie assumed.

She shrugged. "I realised I was a witch really late. My dad was normal and he didn't want any supernatural influence in my life…he wasn't around much. It was just me and grams…" she petered off, looking at the pink petals scattered under the bench.

"Your maternal grandmother?" he asked as she scooped up some petals on the bench.

"Yup. He forbid her to say anything, and she did…unless she was drunk," she added with a smirk, staring at the blossom in her hand. "She's dead now, they both are."

"…Sorry. My mom's dead, she died when I was twenty."

Bonnie turned to him. "I'm sorry. Were you close?"

"Nope," he admitted with a shrug and Bonnie tried to keep the surprise off her face but she must have failed because he laughed. "Sorry, that must sound weird. I guess we were once, when I was a kid but then things...changed. I was kinda the black sheep of the family, especially after she died…anyway, it was a long time ago," he shrugged again and leaned his head back to stare up at the sunshine through the blossom.

Bonnie stared at his face, one she assumed to be around her own age and said nothing. Death touched people in different ways and she could understand better than anyone how you can bury grief, compartmentalise suffering so as to carry on. She cannot judge.

"So…where are we gonna look for the device?" she asked and he turned his head to her, still leaning back.

"Once I know where to look. Why did you come here?" he asked abruptly.

"Oh. Well my grandmother used to work here. I mean in 1994 she just started but I thought maybe there could be something in her office that could help. I found nothing in Mystic Falls so this was my next option."

Kai nodded, sitting up straight. "What did you hope to find?"

"Answers to what the hell this place is, what it's for?"

"Isn't that obvious? It's hell," he said breezily and Bonnie was taken aback. She shook her head.

"Grams wouldn't send me here to hurt me, she was trying to save me."

"No offence but she was a ghost right? One spirit would not have the power to send you here. I'm sure she didn't want you to suffer but could there be anyone else who would? Enemies?" he asked, staring at her intently and a quick denial was on her tongue before she stopped.

Would the spirits, who were about to be sucked into oblivion, seek revenge? The same spirits who had once tormented her for using dark magic. They had done nothing when she had used a magic beyond darkness, strangely silent but what if sending her to this desolate planet was a form of retribution for harnessing Expression?

Kai watched her carefully as her worry turned into dread. He surprised her by bursting into laughter. "Bonnie! Jeeze, I'm only joking. There's nothing you could have done to deserve any kind of punishment, I can tell."

She gave a weak smile. "You've only known me for a day."

"More than enough time. I'm super intuitive and a good judge of character. You're a decent person. That's why you're here," he said and stared up through the flowers as the eclipse started. She watched his lips breaking into a smile and then looked up through the branches as the light dimmed.

"So only decent people end up on planet 1994?"

"The very best."

Bonnie grinned, shaking her head and as the campus grew dark she closed her eyes. Each time the eclipse happened she closed her eyes and when she opened them she hoped to find herself back in the real world, back in her own time. It never worked but she had never given up trying. Each eclipse was a wish, like a shooting star.

She sent her wish up to the sky and after a moment she felt something light touch her cheek and forehead. Pink petals floated over her upturned face, falling from Kai's hand. She smiled, her face heating as he continued to let them flutter, a gentle smile on his lips. Before he could say anything she threw the scoop of blossom into his face like confetti.

"Ha! You make a pretty bride," she jumped to her feet as he shook his head vigorously. He smacked his lips, grimacing.

"I think I ate some," he stared up at her with a sudden predatory expression and a strange excitement exploded in the pit of her stomach. She took a step back, laughing before he jumped up and chased her. He never caught her, even when he had her cornered outside the hospital. They had stood there panting for breath, their childish exuberance giving way to the embarrassed reality of adults. They were still strangers.

Bonnie smiled shyly and moved passed him and as she did she half hoped he would touch her. That had been her mad desire, to be touched and held, even by a man she barely knew. She wanted to know him more but for all his words he never really told her about himself. He was avoiding it.

* * *

"Do you have any family?"

"Yeah, but they're mostly dead now. I have two little siblings and a sister who's my age," he explained as they sat in her grandmother's office. It had been a few days since the lake. The last time she had been in here Professor Shane had been teaching her how to access Expression. Hypnotising her…

"Do – do they know where you are?"

Kai looked up from the grimoire he was reading and gave her a fixed stare and she could read nothing in it. Finally his lips curled into a smirk. "Did they forget and leave me Home Alone like Kevin? No, they know where I am. Heh, does this make you my burglar?"

Bonnie looked at him across the table, sitting in the professor's chair. He said his family called him a freak for being a siphoner but to sentence him to a lonely existence for a quark of birth seemed ridiculously extreme.

 _Which is what grams kinda did_ , she thought and her belly knotted. _No, she would not send me here without a way out. I'm here for a reason._ She focused on Kai. "What happens when you siphon? Is it dangerous?"

He shrugged and sat back, seeing she would not drop it. He sighed. "I said it hurts…but not me. If I'm not careful…" he trailed off, looking down at the book before glancing at her watchful face. He smiled briefly. "I just met you, I don't want to scare you off. I can't."

Bonnie gave him a lopsided smile. "Trust me it takes a lot to scare me," she dropped her smile and gazed at him thoughtfully. "Your family locked you in here because you hurt someone? Killed them?"

He stared at her unblinking, taking in her non-judgemental, fearless face and finally nodded. He looked a little impressed. "Yeah. If I siphon without stopping the loss of magic can be too much for the witch. When it happened, I didn't know I could do that," he said and closed the grimoire. He leaned forward, staring at her. "I'm in here because I'm a killer."

"Accidentally?"

He opened his mouth and then shut it. He stood, clearly uncomfortable and Bonnie stayed seated. Accident or not the guilt was clear on his face. The last few years of her life she had rubbed shoulders with murderers and her hands were not clean so the knee jerk reaction she once felt was now only a twinge. She felt no fear or even judgement, only a sullen pity. Whatever his crime no one deserved to be punished in that way and if she was right he had endured longer than five months.

Kai kept glancing at her, as if nervous to see her expression. "I understand if you wanna part ways but please believe me when I say I'm no threat to you. I want to help get you out but if I've ruined it…"

"No," Bonnie said, standing and moved to him. "We're going to help each other get out. Listen I don't care what you did, unless you're like a serial killer or something," she added jokingly and he smirked. He had not said who he had killed but she remembered the look on his face when he mentioned his dead mother. She had assumed he was pushing his pain aside so as not to confront it. Siphoning his mother's magic until she died seemed the reason. If she had done such a thing she would probably send herself into limbo purely from the guilt.

"You don't care?" he held his breath, eyes narrowed and desperate hope radiated off him.

"Kai…you know how to get out, no offence but you could tell me you wear puppy fur and I wouldn't care."

He laughed. "Puppy fur is only on special occasions." They smiled awkwardly at each other, breaking eye contact until Kai sighed. "Thank you Bonnie. I don't know what I'd do if you left."

"Ditto…this is gonna be weird isn't it?" she said suddenly and he nodded.

"Grossly co-dependent? Yeah I think so. I promise not to tell anyone when we get out."

"I promise not to tell anyone you're really Cruella Deville."

"Inside jokes already, I like it," he said flirtatiously and she smiled, feeling shy, her stomach erupting pleasantly. God, what was wrong with her? If he noticed the expression on her face or her bit lip he did not show it, instead he motioned to a book he had been reading. They had found no sign of the ascendant in her grandmother's office but the spell might still be in one of the grimoires. They had to keep searching.

* * *

"You need to get your magic up and running," he instructed and Bonnie nodded, glum as she took a seat at the bar as Kai slipped behind the counter. It had been over a week since they met and for each day they grew closer they were no closer to getting out. The diner had become their breakfast spot, meeting there at the same time. He had moved into the dorm room across from her, apparently wanting to maintain some healthy distance. Two nights before she had opened his door and watched him sleep for thirty seconds. A small transgression but she felt guilty for the rest of the day. She could not help it, his presence soothed her.

"I've tried everything to get my magic working."

"Not everything…" he said, putting an apron on. He liked to cook for her and she enjoyed his efforts. He was an amazing chef. He leaned across from her, eyes intense but the set of his jaw bellied nerves. "I could uh… I could try siphoning it to the surface?"

She blinked, not having thought of it or if it was even possible. "You can do that?"

He shrugged, pulling out some plates. "A few times but they weren't as blocked as you. It was never a permanent solution either, whatever the emotional problem I couldn't remove that."

Bonnie nodded but looked undecided. Anyone interfering with her magic, especially after Silas, was a line she did not want to cross. Kai took her silent apprehension for the wrong reason.

"I understand if you don't want me to, after what I told you."

"No, it's not that," Bonnie said quickly. "It's just anyone helping with my magic is a – is a touchy subject," she said. He nodded, not looking very convinced and Bonnie swallowed her unease. If her magic was the key to getting out then any squeamishness on her part would just have to take a back seat. "Do it."

Kai looked at her outstretched hand and then up at her face. "You sure?"

She nodded and Kai removed his apron before asking her to sit in one of the booths. He sat beside her and they turned to each other. She offered her hands to him and he hovered his above hers, starting to breathe heavily. He clenched his fists and opened them again. Bonnie was bemused.

"You okay?"

"I think I've got performance anxiety," he confessed and she laughed. "Could you – could you close your eyes?"

She gazed at him, eyes narrowed before she did as requested. She heard him puff out a breath and then the light touch of his hands wrapping very lightly around her wrists. His hands were smooth and warm and she felt no pain, though she tensed in anticipation. She heard him breathe out again, clearly calming himself, focusing and his fingers tightened.

"…Nothing. Um, do you need to take five minutes?" she asked after a minute, her lips twitching and his hands flexed.

"I've got it."

But he did not "got it" and the situation became slightly ridiculous to Bonnie. Maybe he had made the whole thing up. She heard him groan in annoyance and she bit her lip. "It's okay, it happens sometimes, to guys..."

"Ha! You're not helping," he grumbled as she grinned, opening one of her eyes. He was actually pouting. Cute. He looked up from their hands and glared at her. "No more commentary, that's my thing, except now."

"Okay…" she sighed and then closed her eyes, trying to focus. His thumbs rubbed over her pulse before repositioning his hands. He gripped her wrists. She imagined the magic inside her, a still golden pool at the bottom of a dark well, starting to stir. She imagined her magic dripping slowly up the walls of the well, little rivets that shone in the dark. Some fell back but others progressed before meeting the impediment above.

Kai made a grunting noise and his hands tightened. Bonnie winched but kept her eyes closed, visualising her struggling magic trying to free itself. She pictured Kai removing the rocks above, piece by piece, an effort that cost him. He bared his teeth, straining to release her magic that was now pooling just below. It was then she felt it, the first breakthrough, a tiny pinprick but the flood of relief and power did not come. Pain, like a million hot needles, pressed into her and she yelled, tugging away but he pulled her back.

"Don't, I can feel it," he said quietly and even though it felt like every nerve end was on fire she kept still. Kai was panting now, hands slick with sweat, as was her own skin.

"It hurts," she gasped as a strand of magic was pulled from her, as thin as thread. It was nothing and yet it felt like having a tooth pulled. Another scream burst from her mouth and Kai suddenly let go and she slumped down onto the seat below.

Gasping for air and shaking he got to his feet and pulled his backpack to him, pulling out a map but as he flattened it out on the table he became still, hands clenched. Bonnie, weak and shaking, struggled to pull herself back up. His face was stone but his eyes burned. He looked bitter.

"What – what happened?"

"It worked but it wasn't enough," he said, looking down at the map, which was upside down. He gave a humourless smile. "If I don't use the magic quickly it fades away. It's gone."

"Already?" Bonnie looked at the map and pulled it towards her. She closed her eyes, willing that tiny thread of magic to spin around her hands but whatever he had taken had snapped apart like gossamer. The way was still blocked. She slumped and opened her eyes.

Kai stared at her with a sombre expression. "…Sorry, about the pain…I haven't felt magic for so long, even that little bit was amazing," he sighed with remorse and loss. Bonnie hardened with determination.

"But it did work, even for a second. Until I work through this block we need to carry on."

He blinked and stared at her. "You want me to keep siphoning you? You were screaming."

"If it gets us out then I'll scream myself voiceless. If you can't keep the magic is there a way for you to transfer it? Like into a talisman?"

He stared at her, impressed again at her resolve and then pulled the fake ascendant out of his bag. "I could try."

Bonnie took the device from him as he stood, a plan forming in her head. He could siphon her in small amounts each day and store magic in the device and once they find the spell to get out and the real ascendant they can leave. Kai laid a plate of steak and fries before her, breaking into her thoughts and she smiled. She hadn't noticed him cooking.

"Thanks."

He sat opposite, placing his own plate down. He stared at her with regret. "I hope you get your magic back the old fashioned way. I'm not comfortable siphoning from you."

She cut into her beef and shrugged. "It's okay. I've got a high threshold," she said, eating and would not elaborate. She had been the anchor to the Otherside, had endured hundreds of painful deaths each day. She could handle a little siphoning.


	4. Chapter 4

"Close your eyes."

It was like a mantra. At first she thought it was nerves and maybe it was but as she gasped and her eyes flew open she would catch his teeth biting into his bottom lip, his head thrown back a little. She thought he was in pain, like her but he was mastering a rush of orgasmic magic. It was perverse but he could not help it. She kept her eyes closed and just listened to their heavy breathing until it was over.

He siphoned her every other night. Early morning attempts had left her feeling exhausted and Kai strangely irritated, having to store the minor amounts of magic into the fake ascendant that they had been using as a receptacle. He admitted to finding it hard to let go.

"It's not so painful when I relax, give it to you," Bonnie said tiredly as Kai knelt between her knees as she sat on the couch. They were staying in her grandmother's house, having arrived in Mystic Falls a few days before. He squeezed her hands once, giving her a brief smile before picking up the device from the coffee table and transferring the magic he had taken.

"It's getting stronger."

"How much more do we need?"

He shrugged, looking up at her from his position on the floor. "It's a big spell but we'll have the eclipse to channel," he sat beside her and she took the receptacle. "And luckily the event is aligned with the Gemini constellation here. It'll give us a boost."

"Which is why you came to Mystic Falls," Bonnie recounted. Finding Kai at Whitmore had been odd and even stranger to learn that he had been staying in her home town for quite some time.

"Astrologically, mystically, whatever it's the spot where the power of the eclipse is most concentrated. We could get back anywhere under the full eclipse but Mystic Falls is a magic hotspot."

"So you looked at the heavens and worked all that out?"

"Yeah. Didn't they ever teach you astronomy? In my coven it's one of the first things they drum into your head. Even me," he added dryly.

"I've only been studying witchcraft for a few years. I was focusing on languages mostly, to understand the spells. I used an app on my phone to help with constellations and stuff."

"App?" he frowned and she smiled after a small pause. He had not provided the year he appeared in the world, she assumed for fear of scaring her, but over the weeks she had witnessed little slip ups, mostly the anachronisms of his language and cultural references. Anything from the 2000's seemed alien to him, which is why whenever she pulled out her very much dead cell phone from her bag he had been wildly interested.

"If I want to know what stars and planets are above me I can hold the phone up to the sky and the constellations appear on the screen," she demonstrated, the dull black screen reflecting their upturned faces. "I also have a thing that reminds me when the full moon approaches and other celestial events."

Kai grinned in excitement, taking it from her. "That's so fucking awesome. The battery's dead right?" he asked, inspecting it and she nodded, explaining about the missing charger as he swiftly took the backing off with nimble fingers. He hummed in concentration and she smirked.

"Gonna fix it?"

"…Yeah, shouldn't be too hard," he flicked his eyes to her and she shook her head. He meant it, after his forced isolation he had acquired a varied range of skills. However some she found hard to believe.

"One of your _other_ skills?" she asked wryly and he lowered the phone with a pursed lipped smile.

"Still don't believe me?"

"Oh I'm _sure_ you can fly Concorde but you'll have to knock me out before I buckle up."

"Okay…well it'll be a nice surprise when you wake up all groggy in Europe right?" he smiled innocently and she rolled her eyes and pulled her grandmother's grimoire towards her. They were steadily building a reserve of magic but without the spell to get out they could have a reservoir of power but they would still be stuck.

Kai made them dinner and afterwards they listened to music, both drinking wine. Feeling sleepy and a little tipsy Bonnie sipped from the glass as Kai slumped into the cushions beside her, sock covered feet on the coffee table. He cooked incredible gourmet meals for her every day, putting her cooking to shame, but he seemed to relish the opportunity. He was a show off but her stomach was thankful.

"…You could join my coven, if you want?" Kai asked abruptly, his voice quiet.

"What?"

"You said there are no other witches here. When I get back, when I become leader, there's like…an opening," he motioned with his hands and Bonnie felt a tingle of bemusement and a sharper zing of excitement.

"Are you inviting me to live in Portland?"

"No, the coven is spread all over. When we get out that's where I'm heading but you can be initiated wherever you live. I want you to be part of it," he sat up, his usual easy going smile replaced with a serious look. "My coven sucks but I plan to reshape it from the ground up."

Bonnie's smile faded as she considered. "Those people stuck you here Kai. You think they'd allow you to become leader?"

He gave a strange half smile. "They won't have a choice. I'm next in line, that's why they didn't kill me for what happened. They need me and still do."

He became unfocused and she gazed at him thoughtfully. It became quickly apparent that the thing that made Kai able to face a lonely, repetitive hell was to envision something worth having once he escaped. Leadership over a cruel, ancient coven was not a life line Bonnie desired to grab but when you're sinking anything will do.

She moved closer and nudged his arm. "Are there perks being part of your coven?"

"Company car, free dental and _close_ ties with the boss," he pointed at his handsome face.

"Appealing."

"Very," he purred and that pleasant zapping sensation in her belly intensified. They had fallen into a comfortable rapport, which over the last few weeks had turned into flirtation. There was something magnetising about him, strangely so and Bonnie had to frequently remind herself that Jeremy existed and was likely doing everything he could to save her…unless he believed that she was dead, which was almost certain. If only there was a way to send a message that she was alive…

Then what? Without magic there was no way they could help her. The only way she was getting out was with Kai and slowly but surely they would succeed. Her thoughts turned to her mother, who she had been tentatively rebuilding a relationship with. Pain cuts through her at the thought of Abby and she tried to push it down but it lingered. Was she aware? Was she trying to get to her? No one knew where she was, no one but her grandmother…

"What's wrong?" Kai asked, head tilted.

Bonnie shrugged. "Just wondering about my family, my friends. I miss them…don't you?"

Kai snorted softly and drained the last of the wine before answering. "Not really. Well, I'll be pleased to see my sister again. In fact I can't wait," he smiled but it was fixed, his focused lost again. It was not a happy smile and it made Bonnie feel cold.

"She helped stick you in here, you said so. You must want revenge," Bonnie said quietly and his eyes flicked to hers quickly. He narrowed them before answering.

"At first I did. I wanted to make them pay, make Jo…but after a while the anger wasn't enough. I mean I'm still pissed but to be totally honest? Those people mean _nothing_ to me now, I wouldn't give them a second of my time. Jo probably thinks it's justice sticking me in here but it's not. Death row inmates get released, in a way, but for me it's not even an option," he whispered before he inhaled and sat straight, glancing at her. "I regret what I did, don't get it wrong…it's just sucked being here for so long on my own."

"I know…" she placed her hand over his, feeling pity for him and as the clock chimed eleven she leaned forward and kissed his cheek before speaking gently. "I'll think about your offer to join but I know one thing for sure," she looked into his eyes. "I think we're part of each other's lives now. I've never shared anything like this with another person."

Kai smirked softly. "I think we're like the only two in history."

"Right. So coven company car or not we're friends. I'll support you."

He stared at her deeply, eyes roving down to her lips before he smiled and bit his own. "Thank you Bonnie. I've got your back too."

She smiled, stomach erupting like drunk fireworks. To be part of something, part of a way of life that she had barely lived and never truly partaken, made her want to dance. To be out in the real world with Kai, both fully in control of their magic, part of a network with others who would be there to support her, to help her grow? It was the life she always dreamed…

Bonnie looked around her grandmother's living room, candle light playing against the pale walls and photographs of the long dead and felt a puncture in her excitement. No networks of witches existed in Mystic Falls, only vampires. All members of her family have died in that town over the centuries, including herself. It was a grave, a monument to the dwindling Bennett line but it did not have to be any longer. She could form a coven all her own and the man beside her could help her build something new.

Grams had sent her to this world for a reason and maybe Kai was it.

* * *

 ** _a.n:_**

 _sorry it's not very long. Next chapter things will start heating up..._


	5. Chapter 5

Halloween on a hot spring day was strange. Pink and white petals littered the sidewalks like confetti instead of leaves and the only decorations in the stores were discount chocolate Easter bunnies and wilting Mother's day flowers. Not to be perturbed Kai had turned up at her door dressed in an oversized sheet and an orange bucket which had not been filled with candy but miniature liquor bottles.

"I don't have any treats...anyway ghosts don't eat."

Kai's lips curved. "Treats will come later. First we got some trickery to do."

He had pulled her to him, throwing the sheet over her head and they headed out into the dusk. When night fell and they had drank a shot every time they came across a telescope in a yard they had ventured upon a neighbourhood that Bonnie had not frequented too often.

"Why are we here?" she asked, leaning against a tree. Their ghost outfit was now tied around her shoulders like a cloak. Kai smirked and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pants.

"Your list."

A week before they had talked about their experience with school, the people they had hung out with. Bonnie had been semi popular, a cheerleader but because of her abilities she always felt a little out of place. Kai had been mostly home schooled and his magical education had started early, unlike her own. He had found it hard to make friends and so the topic of bullies had emerged.

"Who were your enemies?" he had asked and Bonnie had scoffed.

"Do vampires count?"

"Yeah but I'm talking more about your garden variety dicks."

At first no one had come to mind but as she thought about it small, vindictive memories had stabbed at her. She had written three names and addresses down and then forgotten about it. Kai waved the list at her now as they stood before a small house with an overgrown garden. It was the poorest area of Mystic Falls.

"Chad Carpenter?" he squinted at the name on the page.

"Yeah. He was this stoner that Vicky and Jeremy would sometimes hang out with. When I got out of cheer-leading practise he would always be waiting for me. He was a jerk," Bonnie said grimly and stared at the house, at the paint peeling from the wooden walls. "He was usually with his friends but sometimes he'd be alone…ask me to dance or whatever. He was a jerk," she repeated, staring down at the smudged name on the page to avoid looking at Kai. Truth was Chad had once cornered her one winter night and she had managed to run only after his friends appeared. Thinking on what she had faced since, how she had fought literal monsters and won, she wished she could go back and make him cower in her place.

Bonnie was so engrossed in this fantasy that she only realised Kai had moved when the sound of shattering glass broke the silence. She looked up and saw a hole in the glass screen door.

"Kai!"

"Damn I gotta work on my curve ball," he said and like a pitcher threw another rock at the house. Bonnie gasped as a window cracked, hand over her mouth before she laughed nervously.

"I thought we were going to paper houses!"

"Waste of toilet paper. Come on. No one is here, you won't get in trouble...unless you wanna role play? I'll be the cop?" he asked with a suggestive smirk but she shook her head with a laugh. "All right let me see your pitching arm," he offered a rock to her and she looked between it and the house. It was Halloween in a freaky Twilight Zone world, she was drunk, verging on giddy and Kai Parker was destroying the house of an old bully. Bonnie grabbed the rock, threw her arm back and flung it with all her might. It bounced against the warped porch steps, causing no damage but Kai offered her another, moving behind her.

"Nah you gotta rotate your hips. Move this way," he placed his hands on her waist, turning her side ways, instructing her how to stand. Whispering in her ear, breath smelling of gin and candy, Kai told her to picture that the bully was inside before he moved back. During 1994 Chad would have been a toddler but she pictured the teenager she often dreaded seeing. Bonnie lifted her knee and then threw the rock, where it shattered the main downstairs window with a satisfying smash.

"Yes! Take that you asshole!"

Kai laughed as she proceeded to throw missiles at the house until every pane of glass was broken. Breathless and grinning widely she became so engrossed in her little destruction that when the smell of smoke reached her nose she hardly noticed.

"Now we have to get rid of the evidence," Kai said as he stuffed a small rag into one of the little liquor bottles and set it alight. He grinned at her shocked face before throwing the bottle nonchalantly through the gaping window.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Bonnie asked as Kai took hold of her wrist and pulled her back from the garden and onto the street.

"Mini Molotov Cocktails. You want one?" he grinned at her with a cherubic expression as fire flickered from the house. Bonnie, who had never so much as stolen candy, stared at the little explosive and lighter and with a surge of recklessness she nodded.

"Throw it. Burn it to the ground."

"That's the spirit. No one should get away with hurting you," he said before flinging it against the porch, leaving Bonnie with an intense feeling of gratitude and confusion. As the fire raged, the heat of it baking her face, he took her hand and pulled her away. Safely away from the smoke at the end of the street Bonnie smiled at him, laughing. No one was hurt and Kai had told her that things often changed back to normal after the loop resets but still her heart was full with a strange feeling.

"That's the sweetest, most messed up thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now who's next?"

"Ben McKittrick."

* * *

As midnight and Halloween passed they made their way back to the Salvatore Boarding House. When no answers appeared in her grandmother's spell books they had moved there, hoping to find any clues. None had materialised and they were preparing to head across country to Portland.

"I hope the town won't go up in flames," Bonnie said, tired but happy. Kai's strange Halloween carnage had been cathartic, not just to avenge herself against old bullies but the frustrations that have built up inside her over the last six months. Longer if she was being truthful. The last few years had been painful and throwing a few rocks could be excused. He smirked at her before looping the white sheet around her waist and pulled her towards the couch. A fire crackled gently in the hearth. He slumped down onto the deep red sofa, Bonnie still wrapped up in the sheet.

"So that was the trick portion of the night. What's the treat?"

Kai smiled at her and then pulled her cell phone out of his back pocket. "Ta da."

"You fixed it?" Bonnie sat down beside him as the light of her phone shone. "Did you have to plug it into a potato?"

"Ha! Almost," he watched her happily as she swiped her thumb over the screen, opening apps and closing them rapidly. Kai watched her carefully. "It's totally like something from Star Trek. The future is super."

"Come on, selfie time," she held up the phone, ducking her head beside his and grinned widely. Kai laughed and took the phone from her, looking at their picture and then flicking through her photo gallery. Seeing her friends again caused a sharp pain but at each picture she pointed out who they were with a smile.

"That's Caroline. She'd probably have found the spell we need by now or at least keep us motivated."

"We _are_ motivated. We'll find it," Kai said, staring at her fixedly. "Like I said we'll just have to go to Portland if nothing surfaces here."

"Retrace your steps."

"Right…Who's this?" Kai asked as he focused on another picture.

"Elena Gilbert."

"The doppelgänger?" Kai lifted his eyebrows and Bonnie cocked her head in confusion.

"I never told you that."

Kai stared at her and winced. "Ah, well the name got around. It was kinda a big deal in my coven when she was born."

Bonnie nodded as he continued looking, feeling uncomfortable and not sure why. Maybe because she had mentioned Elena numerous times and he had never said that he knew she was a doppelganger. Kai made a grunting noise and Bonnie looked back and immediately tried to snatch the phone from his hands. It was a video of her and Jeremy kissing from a distance.

"Huh, it records too?"

"Yes! I'll kill the person who recorded it. I bet it was Liv," Bonnie grumbled, quickly flicking the video away until it rested on a smiling Jeremy. She glanced at Kai, who was frowning intensely.

"He's younger than you."

"A little."

"Kinda beefy," Kai observed and Bonnie guffawed and snatched the phone away from his sight. Kai laughed. "What? Do you prefer that in comparison?" he motioned at his chest.

Bonnie bit her lip and gave him a considering stare. Kai was tall, almost lanky, and while he was slender there was a whipcord strength to him. Sometimes he would creep up behind her, place his hands on her hips and pick her up easily when she least expected it. She was starting to suspect he liked to hear her scream.

"There's nothing to compare."

"Thanks," Kai widened his eyes in mock affront, taking the phone back and Bonnie mewed, clasping his arm as he pouted.

"You're fine the way you are."

"No, no, you don't have to make me feel better," he sighed and then smiled at her with large eyes before grimacing. "No my ego can't handle it. You gotta tell me I'm pretty."

Bonnie laughed. "You're very pretty."

"Promise?"

"Promise. You're the _prettiest_. I hope that helps."

Kai sighed. "Kinda…" he smiled slyly at her, winking and then tapped his finger over Jeremy's face. "Were you serious?"

Bonnie's throat went dry and she nodded. "Very. I – I died for him. Literally."

"Why isn't he here?" he asked, surprising her. Was he judging?

"The Otherside was collapsing and I was going with it. I wanted to spare him that. He – all of them – think I'm dead," she shrugged but was fighting back the need to cry. Kai stared at her with a fierce determination.

"That wouldn't stop me. I'd find a way. My coven had ways of contacting the dead and I don't mean those trapped on the Otherside."

She blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Just that there are more planes of existence then people realise. I know Jeremy isn't a witch but he's got connections right? Magic can offer hope when you think everything is lost. You just have to want it bad enough. Sometimes you have to pay a price but well…if it's worth it you give whatever it costs," he finished quietly, gazing at her with such intensity she felt her body engulfed in a blazing heat. They had been together for a month now and she had felt his acute attraction to her from the start. He did not pretend otherwise but it left Bonnie feeling like a live wire.

"Kai…he's my boyfriend. Of course he'd try to help me."

"You think so?"

Bonnie wanted to say yes, that Jeremy and the rest of her friends were fighting every moment to save her but deep in her heart she knew the truth. She had been gone six months. She was already half a ghost before the Otherside collapsed. In the Bennett plot in Mystic Falls a grave stone must have her name on it and each month fresh flowers and tea-lights in jars were placed. Her memory was being respected, she felt that with a prophetic certainty.

Bonnie inhaled before speaking, her eyes brimming with tears. "If he really believes that I'm gone and I'm not coming back…then I want him to move on. It wouldn't be fair to expect him to put his life on hold, even if - when I get back."

"What about you? Do you get to move on?"

"Well I am dead right?" she said sarcastically and held up the sheet still pooled around their laps. She shook her head, looking at the fire. "How can I move on in a world that never changes?"

"It doesn't? You're changing this place every second. Take it from someone who's been here eighteen years…" he spoke lightly, a throw away comment but it shook Bonnie. She had suspected he had been here for a long time but had pushed away the possibility that he had endured almost two decades of isolation. It was too frightening and sad to contemplate. While he was odd he would have to be completely out of his mind to survive so long alone.

"Kai…" the tears that had been threatening to spill rolled down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. The idea of being here for so long, all alone…it terrifies me. I don't know how you survived. I would have killed myself…"

"I found ways to survive. It sounds weird but I started to think that this was my world, I was in control of it. Like a god or something…" he lost focus, pulled back over the years before he glanced at her. He shrugged. "I'm just a man, I can die…but you saved me and now I'm gonna save you," he took her hand. "I won't let you go through what I did, you don't deserve any of it. We have each other now and we're getting out. I won't leave you."

She nodded as he lifted a hand to her face, his thumb brushing away her tears. She leaned into his touch and his eyes lingered on her lips before his gaze fixed deep onto her eyes. Magnetised she leaned closer, staring in a tense stillness as his breath played over her lips. She closed her eyes and felt the barest touch of his lips on hers before pain zapped where his fingertips touched her skin. She winched and pulled back.

"Damn it," Kai pulled his hands away and in the dim light they glowed a soft molten red, shining over her face. He groaned in desperation, hands lowering to cup her face but then pulled them down. "I'm sorry. God, I've wanted to kiss you for weeks."

"It's okay," she sat back, breathing laboured as a spike of disappointment shoot through her. Kai, not embarrassed but clearly annoyed, stared at his balled fists and shook his head.

"I'm a freak. I can't even touch you."

"Yeah you can, come on. It's okay, look," she took his hands, threading her fingers through his until they were palm to palm. "See? It just takes practise."

His lips quirked. "So I should keep trying and failing to kiss you?"

"Until you get it right, yeah."

"I like a challenge…" he smiled, his gaze warm on hers and before he could move she leaned forward and quickly pressed her mouth to his. It lasted seconds, long enough to feel how soft his lips were before she pulled back and looked at their clasped hands.

"Good," she said and Kai looked at her with an unmistakable expression of appreciation, as if she had passed a test and now wanted to see how far she could progress. They had stepped into a new place, one where every touch had another meaning, an invitation for her and a challenge for him. Kai leaned forward, hungry for more but she looked down with a small smile, slipped her hands away and picked up her phone. She might want Jeremy to move on but it seemed disrespectful to keep kissing a man she just met a few weeks ago, as much as she deeply wanted to.

"It's getting late…" she mumbled and saw herself holding up a novelty mug to the camera. Kai stared at her, saying nothing for a long time before he took the phone and squinted, reading the description aloud. The tension began to fade but her heart still raced. Her magic was buried deep but in his proximity it seemed electrified, like it knew who and what he was. Or maybe she was drunk.

" _Whitmore's Best Teacher_ ," Kai stared at her quizzically.

"I was _mentoring_ this girl," she did air quotes with her fingers. "She was a witch and I thought I was helping her learn magic but she was pretty much a pro already…" she sighed, shrugging and tapped the screen until it landed on curly haired and surely Liv. "She works at the Skull Bar on campus."

"Liv?"

"Liv Parker. She's got a twin, Luke, he's a witch too. I don't think I have a picture of him," she said and took the phone from him to check. Kai sat quietly beside her but out of the corner of her eye she saw his hand clenching the sofa until his knuckles went white. She looked up and his face was pale.

"The Skull Bar?" he said, turning to her stiffly and she nodded.

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"Fine. They just have the same last name as me. Weird coincidence, right?"

Bonnie swallowed, looking between Kai and Liv, trying to find some familial connection. They were like night and day but there was something there. "Kai...what if she's your sister? You said you had younger siblings. If you've been here since 1994..."

"They'd be almost twenty two. Did they ever mentioned the Gemini Coven or Portland? Someone called Josette?"

Bonnie shook her head and Kai slumped. She smiled, cocking her head. "When we get out you can ask her. I'll introduce you."

Kai stared at the blonde witch on the phone and smiled dreamily. "If she is I doubt she'd want to but...yeah I'd like that," he said hopefully, scanning the blonde bartender. "I like her rings."

"She's kinda punk rock."

"Cool." Kai smiled warmly at Bonnie. "I can't wait to take you home with me, we're gonna have so much fun."

"Ha! Now I know what Kai Parker fun is I'm scared," she smirked before Kai quickly moved forward to capture her lips in a quick, hard kiss before leaning back.

"You better be."


	6. Chapter 6

Abby Bennett had been gone for a year by May 1994, leaving no explanations or goodbyes. Bonnie had suffered the loss like a death and in some ways that would have been easier than the truth. Realising that she had been abandoned with no attempts at reconciliation had spurred a twelve year old Bonnie to shred every picture of her mother that her father still kept. It had been a rare display of deeply contained pain and anger, which she had quickly subdued. It was only after a tense and uncomfortable reconciliation she wished she had not destroyed the pictures and the history they contained. If she had she may have avoided the heartbreak that was to come…

Her grandmother had turned Abby's bedroom into a guest room and over the years lodgers had taken up residence. Bonnie had been too young to remember but as she stood outside her mother's old bedroom she saw that her grandmother had kept Abby's bedroom exactly as it was.

"She thought you'd come back…" Bonnie uttered sadly as she stepped into the quiet room. The walls were covered with posters and paintings, teenage holdovers and a few childhood mementos. Ms Cuddles had been her mother's, which she had passed down to Bonnie. Losing that bear had been heart wrenching but at least she got it back, now safely tucked away in her back pack.

She and Kai were leaving for Portland that afternoon and Bonnie had wanted to give her grandmother's house one last look over to see if there had been anything she had missed. Despite spending months here on her own she had avoided searching though Abby's things, feeling like a trespasser, but she had to put her trepidation aside and look.

A full duffel bag lay beside the desk, filled with hastily packed dresses and tops. The blankets over the bed were rumpled, the only sign that someone had been curled up under the covers at the time of the midnight reset. Bonnie toes some clothes left in a heap on the floor, like someone had been too tired to fold them. Bonnie hummed in thought.

"Someone was sleeping here that night. Not mom, obviously, but someone. Guess grams had a lodger…"

Bonnie trailed off and turned to the mirrored vanity unit. Small, colourful haired trolls were stuck around the rim of the mirror, making her smirk as she took a seat. Make-up and pieces of jewellery littered the table while stuck around the mirror frame were ticket stubs and photographs. She recognised her teenage mother and Miranda, Elena's mother. They had been best friends growing up. Bonnie wondered briefly if Abby heard when Miranda died but seeing as she had no idea her own mother had passed away she guessed not.

"Okay, look for a spell. She took her grimoire with her when she left…but there has to be something," she said to herself and proceeded to open the drawers. Journals, scrapbooks and photo albums filled them, mixed with old paint brushes and pencils. Her mother was a very proficient artist so all Bonnie found was numerous sketches, depicting people and places. Some she recognised, others she did not.

"The Armory?" she said, looking at a small titled watercolour painting of an old gothic building. She shrugged and slotted the paper back into a photo album. After looking at a few of her parent's wedding reception Polaroids she sat back, grimacing. Kai said he would pick her up at noon and then they would drive to Portland. She had wanted to find something useful but all she has found are old mementos.

Sighing she looked unfocused at a slightly blurred photograph of her mother in her wedding dress sitting next to a pale woman with sleek dark hair. The puffy pink tulle of her dress hid most of her face but bright blue eyes were clear. Her mother was clearly pregnant and giving the photographer a comically sullen expression. Her mother had quickly gotten married after she became pregnant and the divorce had been even faster once she was born. Bonnie clenched her jaw and focused on the blurry picture. Something about the blue eyed woman rang a bell but she could not recall her. She turned the picture over and read the scrawling handwriting belonging to her grandmother.

 _Abby and Josie, 1992._

The name meant nothing and Bonnie dropped the picture into the table, where a red velvet choker caught her eye. A small golden sun swung from it. Shrugging she took it and tucked it into her pocket. "Better leave with _something_ …" She cocked her head. Under the choker was a folded piece of paper. She flipped it open and froze. A crude drawing of a circular device with gears was hastily drawn on the upper right side while below two spells was scrawled:

 _Enter:_ _Sangiema Meam Et Nos Mundo Carcerema._

 _Exit: Sangina Mearma, Ascendarum Cavea._

"Bon?"

Bonnie jumped at the sound of Kai speaking only a few feet away. He stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. She was starting to believe his feet never actually touched the ground when he walked, so light was his tread. It was slightly creepy. He raised his eyebrows in query as she jumped to her feet and excitedly brandished the page at him.

"I think I found it! Look!"

Kai moved to her and looked at the paper. He frowned. "I don't see anything."

"What?" Bonnie watched as he took the page from her, his eyes narrowed but as soon as his fingers touched the paper it started to smoke. They both gasped and stepped back as the now flaming piece of paper fluttered to the ground.

"What the hell?" Kai watched as Bonnie stomped it out before the rug started to burn. She got on her knees and gingerly picked up what remained.

"Damn it, it's almost destroyed. It had a drawing of the ascendant and two spells."

Kai got on his knees beside her, hands hovering over the now smouldering paper before balling them. "I've searched this room before and I saw no spells, no writing. It must have been laced with magic, to self destruct if I found it."

"Why?"

Kai stared at her impassively. "They don't want me out but on that day someone must have wrote the spell down. It has to exist somewhere. This wasn't the first prison world my coven or yours created."

"Mine?"

"Who's handwriting was it?" he asked softly, his face calm but his eyes were fixed sharply on hers. Bonnie swallowed.

"My grandmother's."

His lips curled. "She knew my mom and dad, did I tell you that?" he asked but gave her no time to answer. "I never really met her but she was there that morning, in the woods."

Bonnie licked her lips, the smell of burnt paper surrounding them. "She was? Why didn't you tell me?"

Kai shrugged, slumping. "She helped lock me up and you clearly cared for her. I didn't want you to think I blamed you for her actions."

"…Why would you blame me?"

Kai smirked. "Not blame but…see it as an opportunity. The granddaughter of the woman who kept me in total isolation for eighteen years just happens to fall into my arms? No one would be shocked for wanting revenge."

Bonnie blinked, breath in her throat and then quickly got to her feet. He sounded so reasonable. "Do you want revenge? I thought we were -"

"No I didn't mean that," he said quickly, getting to his feet to stare at her with large, pleading eyes. "I could never blame you. You had nothing to do with this. I said that I did want revenge on the people who did this to me but those feelings burnt out a long time ago. My dad would have no trouble sending me back to this place if I fucked with him or his coven. I can't risk that for petty revenge," he shook his head, nostrils flaring.

Bonnie, her stomach flipping oddly, shook her head. "I wouldn't exactly call it petty. This has been hell, being alone…but I get it, not wanting to take the risk."

"I just want my freedom…and you," he added with a sheepish smile. "I hope I didn't freak you out? I should have told you sooner."

"You should have. We could have found the spell weeks ago," she sighed and sat on the end of the bed and after a moment he joined her. She stared at the page, where the entering spell was now unreadable but luckily the exit incantation was still discernible. "She sent me to you Kai. She said that I'd find peace. If she thought you truly deserved this punishment she wouldn't have sent me here."

"I know…and she wouldn't have sent you here without a way out."

"She just said I had to be strong."

Kai smiled at her, head cocking and then cupped her face. "I can't do this without you."

"Literally," she smirked, waving the paper. "Lucky I have a good memory."

He exhaled a strange noise and then dipped down to kiss her lips. His tongue prised her lips apart, licked her teeth and then he bit softly against her bottom lip. She smiled, leaning back as his other hand slide down her back.

"We have the spell Kai! Are you excited?" she asked as he kissed her throat.

"Can't you tell? God I could eat you," he growled against her pulse before play biting at the curve of her neck. He licked her, a long slow swipe. "I can taste your magic on your skin, you know that?"

"Okay Hannibal," she laughed, pushing him back and he scoffed, grabbing her hands as she dropped the paper. He stood up and pulled Bonnie into his arms.

"Fava beans are gross. You're fucking manna to someone like me."

"So you just want me for my magic?" she asked coyly, pouting but her stomach tightened. Being wanted only for her magic was a sore spot but one she concealed. Kai's lust filled gaze cooled and he pulled her gently to him. They had kissed, the first a strange drunken dare and now in the sober morning she felt a similar giddy stirring within her every time his gaze lingered or his fingers brushed her arm. She would snap if the burgeoning feelings within her was only recuperated with superficial want.

He shook his head with a sigh. "As a siphoner I know what it feels like to have your entire worth based on being a witch. I felt useless because I couldn't generate my own, couldn't do all the cool things that my sister could do and was praised for. I felt if I couldn't use magic then what was the point of me at all? Was it like that for you?"

She nodded stiffly after a pause. "Kinda. I could use magic obviously and I wanted to make a difference, to help my friends…but after a while it was all people wanted. They just saw my magic and not me, not really," she shrugged, giving a half smile. "I don't blame them, we were in impossible situations but well…I kinda understand why my mom changed her name and never looked back," she looked around Abby's room, which was a lot like her own.

Kai smirked. "We're like the reverse of each other…so to get back to your point I don't just see a witch, I see much, much more," he kissed her lips gently before pulling back with a ginger look. "I hope you do too?"

"Of course I do. We both have value, magic or not. You're right, we're like two sides of a coin. We met for a reason Kai, I really believe that now," she gazed at him deeply and he nodded.

"We're meant to be together. Things are falling into place now. I think we'll find the ascendant when we get to Portland…but even if it takes a long time I won't mind because you're here."

She smiled a little shyly as he kissed her cheek before she picked up the ruined piece of paper and put it into her pocket. They searched over the room again, though Kai was careful not to touch anything in case he set anymore booby traps off again. They found nothing more but the excitement did not dissipate. They finally had the spell to get out, half of the key. Kai followed her out of the room, keeping his distance before suddenly catching her and with a fierce, joyful energy pushed her against the wall.

His hands placed either side of her head flared red against the wall.

* * *

They had been driving for a few hours, following route 64 along the Kanawha River. Kai had suggested flying but then quickly changed his mind. He wanted to spend time with her but he had also wanted to show her why he prefers to travel by air than land. Heading out of Mystic Falls they approached Charleston, their first big town.

"I avoid major cities, they're usually impassable because of the reset damage," Kai explained as they crested a hill overlooking the city. The gold dome of the civic centre gleamed dimly in the valley of the river. May 10th was a clear, hot day but the scene before her was hazy in the morning light, almost like a heat mirage.

"Is it mist?"

"Smoke, gasoline and hundreds of cars baking in the sun. They were all being driven during the reset so a lot of those engines are still on. They're white hot."

"Jesus…I noticed a couple of cars were still running in Mystic Falls but it was mostly still. It's a ghost town at midnight."

"Literally."

Once they reached the edge of Missouri they stopped to sleep, Kai having to circumvent St Louis. If Bonnie thought them being the only two people on the planet would make for a quick journey she was wrong. He had a large map with traffic jams and other obstacles to avoid, things he had come across in his travels. He said that airports and major cities are an inferno and Bonnie had doubted it but after seeing a hundred car pileup smoking in the light of an eclipse she didn't have to take his word for it.

* * *

He broke into a mansion overlooking the Mississippi river late one night, showing her in like a proud realtor. He was an expert at breaking and entering and had shown her weeks before how to do it, along with hot wiring a car.

"Another skill you picked up while here?"

"No that one I already mastered aged fourteen. Come on."

The mansion, which had been a guest house at the time, boasted a kitchen the size of her house back in Mystic Falls, a heated indoor pool and much to Bonnie's delight a function room with a stage and microphone. Bonnie grinned and jumped up on the stage to face Kai in the empty room. He whistled and clapped.

"When I was a kid all I wanted was to stand in front of a panel of judges and win a competition. Me, Elena and Caroline had a dance routine and we'd sing along to Destiny's Child."

"Who?" Kai asked, fiddling with some buttons on a control panel and suddenly a spot light fell on her. She laughed as he took a seat near the front. "You wanted to be famous?"

"Majorly. My route to stardom hit a little snag but I still remember all the moves."

Kai cocked his eyebrows, grinning and Bonnie groaned. An hour later she collapsed in the seat beside him, sweaty, drunk and laughing. He had never heard half the songs she sang but it did not take him much time to jump on the stage beside her and sing along, surprising her with a rich voice. They made a harmonious duo and her heart had stirred when he sang to her.

"I bet you sing Witchy Woman to all the girls."

"Only you. Other witches tended to avoid me."

"Because you're a siphoner?" she asked and he shrugged, drinking the cocktail she had made him. Bonnie shuffled closer and he caught her eye.

"Witches like me are not very lucky in that department. A lot are made infertile actually. It was easier to just go after normal girls."

"…Were you with anyone? Before you got sent here?" she spoke softly. The question had been on her mind but she had not voiced it until now. Kai had been alone for eighteen years but was it possible that he had left a girl behind? Was she still waiting for him?

He gazed at her unblinking for a long time before speaking. His lips curled up at the corners as he leaned closer. "No one important…this is gonna sound messed up but I never really felt attached to people, I tried but the feelings just weren't there. I mean I get it, I was never hugged as a kid - psyche 101 - but I had nothing steady. That's different now, you're different…" he uttered, his voice gentle and his eyes roved slowly over her face before resting on her lips.

In that moment Bonnie became acutely aware of the vastness of the world they existed in, they had an entire lonely galaxy revolving around them and yet she had not felt this close or attached to anyone else. The sense of kinship was sometimes so intense she wondered if she was losing her mind or if this happened to witches in close proximity. Magic aside she also took psyche 101.

"I'm the only woman on this planet. I could be eighty, three feet tall, _green_ and you'd still serenade me with love songs."

"I'm not that desperate Yoda."

"Yeah you are. Search your feelings."

"Star Wars jokes," he sighed dreamily and then pulled her onto his lap. Bonnie looked down into his face with a smile as he wrapped his arms around her. "I know how lucky I am that it was _you_ that arrived."

"And not a little green alien?"

"Though that would have been cool too. Seriously I've never felt this way about anyone," he laughed in mild amazement, looking aside for a moment. "The circumstances forced us together but we could hate each other's guts right? But we're friends, despite what I am."

"More than friends," she whispered and touched his face tenderly. "I know you've been told your ability is wrong but if you weren't a siphoner we wouldn't have access to my magic. Nature doesn't create things randomly; everything has a purpose and value. Magic made you as much as it made me and nature only serves to keep things in check. Maybe that's what you are."

"Balance…kinda hard to believe you have a purpose when you're told you're worthless," he said, jaw clenching and Bonnie shook her head and quickly leaned down to kiss him. She poured all her tenderness into it, wanting him to feel it. His fingertips trailed along her bare arms, barely touching and she felt the prickle of his ability. Her magic, which felt closer to the surface every day, was coaxed under his burning touch. Before it had been a struggle to free the smallest amount, now it responded to his call with a willingness, only to be impeded by a wall. If that wall suddenly fell he would be swallowed by a wave of her power.

He groaned into her mouth, feeling the great swirling eddies of her magic, and under her lap he grew hard. Her first instinct was to pull away as flashes of Jeremy darted into her mind but she wrapped her arms around Kai's neck and gyrated her hips against his erection. His hands moved down her back slowly to rest on her ass as she placed her knees on the chair either side of him.

"You've got a lot of restraint," she whispered as she pulled back from the kiss. Kai smiled, biting his bottom lip.

"You're testing that. God," his head fell back as she rubbed the groin of her shorts against his jeans, sending shock waves through her belly. The three cocktails she had earlier eased her inhibition but even sober she would feel this strong desire, though likely not act on them. In that moment it felt _right_. She gripped his shoulders, long slim fingers digging into his plaid shirt as she arched her back and bucked against him again and again, her panties soaked. He pleaded with her, half sobbing, half laughing that she was going to make him cum in his pants like a teenager. She laughed.

"Go on, no one will know…" she breathes, enjoying the way he struggled with giving up control. They were in an empty function room, which should be filed with people. It made her feel wicked picturing all the little tables occupied as she dry humped Kai Parker into an orgasm. She was not far behind.

"I'm gonna - I'm gonna take you to the Oval Office and fuck you on the desk," he promised in a rush before crushing Bonnie to him as he came with a yelp, thrusting against her shorts furiously until he grew stiff, cheek pressed against her sweaty chest. Bonnie moaned as he slumped, breathing heavily, but hesitated as she went to touch herself. Kai caught her hand, giving her magic a sharp zap, before he spun her around and made her sit back down on him. His hand rested on her stomach, his other cupping her breast and with a desperation she will feel a little ashamed for later she pushed his hand into her shorts. _Come As You Are_ played as he slipped his fingers inside her, his face buried against the side of her arching neck as she moaned his name into completion.

* * *

" _It's just a jump to the left!"_

"I'm not doing it."

" _And then a step to the riiight. With your hands on your hips_ …Come on Bon you gotta do it otherwise it won't work."

It had been a few days since the guest house by the Mississippi and though neither have voiced it the psychical intimacy they shared had silently shifted their relationship into a new place. Was Kai her boyfriend now? Because she had never let Jeremy finger her in public before, empty Grill or not. Kai had whispered in her ear as she came that he would do it again and again in a room full of hundreds, his fingers in her mouth to muffle her screams. Maybe boyfriend wasn't the right word for him…

She looked across at Kai and grinned, rolling her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. He could be sensual in a way that sent her hackles rising but in the same breath be very childlike for all his intellect. He was constantly making her laugh. She had never met anyone like him.

" _Bring your knees is tight! But it's the pelvis thruuuust that really drive you insane."_

 _"_ _LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"_

Their screams echoed around the canyon, the song fading into laughter. They collapsed on top of the Winnebago roof, the night sky dazzling with starlight. The desert was cool and silent but for their voices. The land faded away into darkness.

"I used to do that every night for like a year," he explained and pointed up at the sky as they rested on their backs. "Two minutes to midnight."

"You don't even need to look at a watch."

"Nope. I can feel when it approaches, especially the closer we get to Portland. That's the epicentre," he lifted his hands and held them apart. "The reset is solid there, _everything_ goes back to the way it was even if you change something," he lowered his hands with a disgruntled expression.

Bonnie hummed in thought. "So if you drove a car away from Portland and you were still driving in Florida during the reset you'd just zap back to where you started?"

"Yup. The first time that happened I thought I would never be able to leave that place unless I walked. Virginia is good, whatever objects you act upon don't reset. The spell has a ripple effect with the time differences between states."

"So maybe on the moon it's actually May 11th?"

Kai smiled wistfully, staring at the side of her face as she looked up at the sky. "Maybe, just for a few seconds…"

They watched the sky at midnight, the stars blurring and then becoming still. Bonnie focused on one, about to look away when it began to fall. Kai had stopped for the night in the middle of the canyon to watch the sky. Bonnie had assumed to watch shooting stars. She was wrong. Kai lifted his hand.

"Don't take your eyes off it."

"What is it?" she asked but fell silent as the star did not streak across the sky but continued to fall downwards, growing bigger. More joined it, falling balls of fire. As she realised what she was witnessing she got to her feet, eyes wide and unblinking. The planes, which at the time of the reset would have been carrying hundreds of people, plummeted towards prairie lands miles away from their position. The empty vessels disappeared behind a distant hill and she almost heard the impact, though it was too far away to be audible. Her imagination supplied the effects.

"The explosions sets the dry grass on fire. It spreads and the entire plain will be on fire in the next half an hour. It burns for hours. It's pretty cool."

"Are we safe here?" she asked as he pulled her to sit back down on the roof with him. Kai nodded.

"I've watched it happen a few times. Took photographs of it and other wreckage…though this is nothing compared to Portland airport, it's just six miles from the city," he said gleefully and she stared at his face.

"…Portland's on fire?"

Kai looked at her worried face and grinned.

* * *

 _ **a.n:** Hi guys. Sorry for the wait, I hit a bit of a writing block for the story. Let me know what you think? _

_The reset premise is the same one that I use in Retrograde, it's a headcanon now. More fluff and smut to come before shit gets real..._


	7. Chapter 7

Bonnie had been to Portland once before, though she had been too young to remember. Her grandmother had taken her along with her to visit a friend, a quiet man who had given her a piece of candy. That was all she could recollect but as Kai drove her along the Columbia River towards the city she wondered if Kai had also met that man…The Parker family home was north of the sprawling Forest Park, acres of woods and waterfalls that were a hallmark of Oregon.

"We lived out in the middle of nowhere is this huge house. Neighbours thought we were some fundy cult or something. They were kinda right," Kai quipped as they drove over a bridge, Portland city a few miles away. Bonnie looked for fire and smoke but a thick morning mist obscured the view. It would burn away by midday, according to Kai.

"Is the airport really on fire?"

Kai smirked. "Don't believe me? The wind blows the smoke and fumes up north, towards Washington. Fuel leaks into the river, sets it alight for a few hours after the reset but it soon burns itself out. I'll take you to see it tonight, it's pretty cool," he flashed a grin.

He did not take her to the family home, not yet. Talking about the place and his family clearly made him uncomfortable, his usual chatter muted. Instead he took her close to the huge park west of Portland. There was a house up in the hills overlooking the city and with a view of the snow-capped Mount Hood in the distance. Driving along a spiralling road in a wealthy neighbourhood they passed through a set of gates, stopping outside a huge house with a grand stair case leading to the entrance.

"This rich jock my sister had a crush on lived here. He'd throw these huge parties. I hated him but he sold the best weed so every time I come back this is where I stay. There's also a Jacuzzi and a cinema room with surround sound."

"You're such a stoner, you know that? I thought Jeremy was bad…"

"The _only_ thing we have in common. Come on," he took her hand and pulled her up the stairs. Bonnie had been in many empty houses since being stuck but every time she entered a strange house she always felt a thrill, that knowledge that she was trespassing, but there was no homeowners or police to catch her. Kai acted like everything he touched was his and he felt no such dilemma, only enjoying the novelty of having her by his side.

He cooked them dinner and then afterwards they watched _Ghost_ on a huge screen that took up an entire wall. In the dark he kissed her, fingers threading through her hair to cup her skull. The stinging pain that sometimes came with his touch now made her shudder and groan with a strange pleasure, her fingernails scraping his shoulders. They kissed until the movie credits rolled up the screen and the entire room plunged into darkness. The only light was from his hands, a shifting and gentle orange-red flare that never touched her skin.

* * *

He took her to a park overlooking the city that night and Bonnie got her first glimpse of Portland. They were safe west of the rivers, but as he had told her the airport on the banks of the Columbia river was a smoking ruin. The city was mostly dark, a few electric lamps shone but as midnight passed the smoke cleared and for a few moments Portland was shining and intact.

"Boom," Kai uttered quietly as they sat on a pair of swings, watching the scene unfold. Bonnie, her breath trapped in her throat, watched as cars crashed into each other or slammed into shop fronts and trees. Explosions went off one after the other like fireworks. Portland was a city famous for it's breweries and the alcohol contained within these distilleries caught and soon raged through the narrow streets.

"Jesus…" Bonnie breathed as apartment blocks started to burn and planes nosedived into the river. Gasoline floated on the water and was quickly set alight.

"The Pearl District will be pretty much gone in a few hours. It's all the alcohol that's the problem. The west of the city gets away pretty much unscathed, thank god. Imagine _that_ forest fire…" Kai trailed off as the airport exploded, sending flashes of light through the night sky. It felt like some angry god was striking the city. Bonnie forced herself to look away from the inferno and back at him. Cool wind blew against her neck, sea air but she started to smell smoke.

"I can't believe this is real but it is. If I had never met you and decided to go to New York or DC…" she shook her head. She had been thinking of going to a major city, just for something to do. She likely never would have made it back alive. Kai stared at her, twisting his swing around.

"Maybe you would have been okay. This place is different. Sometimes you can hurt yourself but it's fine after the reset. Hasn't that happened to you?"

Bonnie shook her head. "Not really. I had a bad cold a month after getting here and it took me a long time to recover," she shrugged, looking back at the flaming city as Kai stared at her fixedly, a frown between his brows.

"I thought you were like me," he muttered with something like accusation but Bonnie was too focused on the fire to really listen. They sat on the swings watching the city burn for the next hour in silence and while the sight made Bonnie feel oddly elated Kai's mood was sullen. He took her back to the house but did not siphon from her, as was normal, complaining he was tired. Bonnie relented, sensing he needed space. Coming back home for Kai was hard, though he said otherwise. He was secretive, for all his banter, and there was a darkness in him that his jokes could not conceal. She was not scared, she had experienced her share of darkness. She was surprised how well adjusted he was after being isolated for so long but there was a hollowness that he was slowly showing her. The years alone had worn him down in places and that process was irreversible.

* * *

He was putting off going back to his home, to search for the missing ascendant but Bonnie assured him that this time he would not have to face it alone. At those times, when her fingers gently took hold of his Kai would look at her, breath inhaled and chest inflated but whatever words were on his tongue stayed there. Pain and guilt kept inside can solidify and it was a battle to break it apart and share, she knew that all too well. He had killed his mother, she had learned that early on but he could not tell her clearly whether it was an accident or not. He honestly did not know. This she still believed.

"I've been here for a long time and no matter how much I think about it I just don't know…it happened so fast. She got infected with a magical disease. Well that's what my dad called it," Kai smirked, not looking at her. It was late morning and they were in a stunning rose garden which had a view of the hazy city. It was a beautiful sight. She did not know what made him talk about his mother's death so suddenly but she was glad. Something had been weighing on him since he took her to see the fires.

"What happened to her?"

"She was kinda obsessed with keeping my dad and her kids safe. My dad was powerful, as coven leader, and I think she felt inadequate or something. She dabbled in dark magic, which is whatever, most witches do," he said with a hand wave as Bonnie stiffened but said nothing. "She got into this powerful, ancient magic and it twisted her up inside. I didn't know the details, why or how it was happening, only that her magic started going crazy. It would burst out of her and she would hurt people. My dad covered it up but nothing could stop it. Finally he got so desperate he asked me for help. Well, more like demanded," he said with a small smile, his gaze unfocused.

"You siphoned her magic?"

"Yeah. It didn't like that," he laughed hollowly, shaking his head. "It – cause that wasn't her anymore – fought back, started draining _me_ and wouldn't let go…so I didn't stop until it did."

He looked at her as she nodded sadly in understanding. "You were defending yourself. It – it doesn't sound like it was your fault. It wasn't her anymore."

"Maybe but sometimes it doesn't feel like it happened that way, that a part of me wanted her gone. I felt relieved." Bonnie inhaled but he carried on talking. "But then I remember her taking me and Jo to this place, when she would talk to me...I'm sorry then, despite the things she did to me. I told my dad that and at first he believed me but then it changed. He's a paranoid freakazoid and he started to think I just sucked up the power that was making her batshit. Didn't matter that I always lose the magic, he thought it was hiding inside me like a spore," he grinned at the assumption, not looking at her.

Bonnie felt a chill go through her. "He thought you were infected?"

"Yup but it's impossible. When I siphon magic, _whatever_ it is, it gets converted into its purest form. I'm like a filter," he smiled, lifting his eyebrows. "I can siphon through touch but it's in my cells, like your magic is."

"That's pretty cool."

"I know," he flashed a grin at her, sitting back on the grass with a sigh. The aroma of roses around them was rich and heavy. "He never trusted me anyway but after that he was especially annoying. It was like that for two years before he snapped and," he waved his hand around them.

"He locked you up," Bonnie said and they grew silent. Could Kai's imprisonment be down to more than a father's prejudice and the death of his wife? Was this entire universe created to contain a person he thought infected with evil? An evil that could spread? If her grandmother was involved then that seemed the only reason why she would condemn someone to an existence of isolation. The planning and power that went into creating this looping world was not thrown together in a day. This was premeditated.

Bonnie looked around the park, which was serene and beautiful and suspected the truth. "This place is a quarantine. What if it was originally meant for your mother?"

Bonnie gazed at Kai, who shrugged and offered her a red rose with a smile on his face, like she had not even asked. Kai was strange, verging on _off_ but some carrier of evil? She knew monsters and the man she was falling for was not one.

* * *

After a week exploring the areas of Portland they could – sadly _Voodoo Doughnut_ did not exist in 1994 and if it did it would just be a smoking ruin – Kai shook her awake one morning. He was tired, yawning but wired as he drove them north, through the dense trees until they reached farmland.

"My dad sold real estate and he got super rich. He could have lived anywhere but nope, the back end of nowhere it was. The house was inherited, generations of my freaky family have lived there."

His jaw clenched as they drove, fields on either side obscured by mist. The eclipse happened at 9:28 in Portland and as they reached a small town the light grew dark. Red and blue lights flashed as they approached a house on a residential street with many police cars outside. Bonnie turned to Kai as they sped past.

Kai shrugged. "People died. Remember that newspaper you found yesterday?"

Bonnie had read a newspaper which reported a family had been murdered in Portland. The article had been smeared and unreadable, a printing accident because every newspaper was the same. Kai yawned again, his tenth by Bonnie's count, and flipped over the cassette and pressed play. _Two Princes_ started playing and Bonnie grinned as Kai groaned.

"Oh I love this."

"No fucking way."

Twenty minutes and one argument about musical taste later they reached the Parker House. It stood in two hundred acres of grass land, a big white house with blue shutters and a wraparound porch. Children's toys littered the neat grass. It was only missing a white picket fence.

"It's beautiful," she said with surprise.

"Expecting the Bates house?"

"Kinda? You made it sound so…cold."

"Appearances are deceiving," he said, staring up at the house. For him it was home to awful memories, ones that he found hard to share but from what she knew she understood his hesitance.

"We don't have to go in, not if you don't want."

Kai shrugged. "I'm fine. Let's get this over with," he said, voice light but his back and arms were tense. Inside the house, which seemed far too large for two sets of twins and a man, was clean and bright but with the usual mess of having small children. Bonnie moved into the living room as Kai disappeared into the kitchen. The light shining through the windows hung suspended, like time within the house was stuck in that early hour. Despite the peace and quiet there was a suffering in that hush.

Music started playing as she looked at the numerous pictures over the walls, mostly portrait photographs of twins. She quickly found pictures of Kai and his twin, Josette. Bonnie stared at the young woman for a long time, the face familiar but her attention was grabbed by another picture. A set of blonde twins, around two years old.

"Liv and Luke. This _has_ to be them. Kai? I'm sure this is them."

"You can tell?"

Bonnie gasped at the sound of his voice right behind her and dropped the picture. Glass shattered at their feet as Bonnie jumped back, heart racing.

"Don't do that!"

Kai offered his hands, a grin twitching his lips as she sighed in annoyance. She bent down to pick up the glass and he went down with her.

"This place spooking you out yet?"

"Only you so far," she fired back and he chuckled before slipping the picture free of the glass.

"Olivia and Lucas. I still resent my dad for not calling them Luke and Leia like I suggested."

Bonnie laughed but then yelped as she cut herself trying to sweep up the glass. Kai pulled her up and inspected her finger but it was only a small injury. Bonnie sucked on her finger and motioned at the picture. "Luke and Leia? Your dad was sparing them years of bullying."

"Lucky them," he said, looking at a picture of his father on his wedding day. Kai's mother was a beautiful, small boned woman with masses of curly hair. She reminded Bonnie of Liv.

She touched Kai's arm. "Sorry."

"Forget it. Let's start looking," Kai pulled her away from the pictures to the kitchen, which was large and again littered with toys and children's drawings. A large bouquet of tulips and irises stood centre of the round table, handmade cards placed around it. It had been Mothering Sunday on the 8th.

Kai barely registered them. "Because of my ability I can detect when magic is close. It has to be really weak or cloaked for me to miss it," he explained as they looked through a bookcase filled with recipe books, Kai pressing his hand to the wood to suck out any concealing magic. Nothing appeared.

"So can you feel me?" she asked from a crouched position. Kai looked down at her with a small smile.

"Yeah so I know your magic is getting stronger," he pulled her up against his chest, arms crossing around her front. "I can smell it," he whispered into her ear.

"What does magic smell like?"

"There's nothing to compare it to really and it depends what kind it is…yours is rich, lot of different notes...intoxicating. You make me so fucking hungry," he groaned, nuzzling her neck and she smiled, head tilted back.

"Come on, you can eat later."

"Promise?" he smirked at her but she ignored the suggestive tone with a laugh and pulled out of his arms. They had not had sex yet but it had come close; Bonnie was ready but Kai kept pulling back last moment. He wanted her but with that want came a desire that could harm her. He did not go into details but he mentioned once being with a witch and had almost drained her to the point of death. He had never touched another witch since. The fact that Bonnie was the only reliable source of magic available and the loss of that would render Kai stranded was a fact she only realised later...

* * *

They searched through the house. Despite the size there were only a few rooms, mostly for guests. A locked door led to an indoor pool but Kai dismissed it, saying it had been going through a renovation at the time and was too dangerous to search. He had done so before. Bonnie stepped out into the hallway on the first floor as Kai searched through a guest room.

"Why stay in such a big place if there was only a handful of you?"

"Huh? Oh well my mom and dad planned to have more kids…We had guests from the coven sometimes too. It didn't feel so empty at those times," Kai said as he stripped a mattress. "I hated it. My parents barely tolerated me so you can imagine what those old school Gemini thought of me. I was locked up in my room most of the time until they left."

Bonnie made a noise of sympathy and turned. The hallway was long, with two doors and a linen cupboard on either side but as she turned towards Kai she caught sight of more doors. She blinked, looked back but the extra doors were gone.

"You okay?" Kai asked suddenly behind her and she nodded with a frown.

"Seeing things…Nothing?"

"Nada."

"There has to be some clue here," she said with exasperation but Kai said nothing, just gazed at her. "Where's your room?" she asked.

"You think they hid it in there? The last place they'd think I'd look?" he smirked knowingly. He had searched through every inch of the house for years and found nothing. "My room's in the attic."

"Oh…" she looked up, feeling a flush of relief and Kai laughed.

"What? Thought they chained me up in the basement at night?"

"Well…"

"Trust me, it's not much better," he sighed and then with an inhale he showed Bonnie up a short flight of steps and unlocked a door. It locked from the outside. The room beyond was dark and still as the rest of the house. She followed him slowly, her eyes adjusting to the gloom. The roof sloped and Kai had to bend his head until they reached the centre of the attic. A narrow bed was placed under a small window which issued a beam of light into the room. Music and sports posters lined the walls while books, vinyl and magazines were stacked everywhere. Kai slumped down into a chair by his desk, swinging around to face her. A child's baseball mitt and figurines lined the windowsill.

It was not the dank, cramped basement she imagined but it served the same purpose: isolation. Kai was raised within a family who would not touch him, who had shunned him for his ability. They would not stick him in a place where he – or they – were in touching distance. The attic stretched the entire length of the house and the only door was thirty paces away. The loneliness must have been crushing for a child but maybe it was an escape from the people below who thought he was an abomination. Bonnie moved to him, noting a drop of blood on the desk. She sucked on her cut finger before she placed her hand on top of his head, stroking.

"I'm sorry, we shouldn't have come back here."

"It's okay. It really doesn't bother me anymore," he put his hands on her hips, tugging her a little. He smiled wistfully. "You know how often I dreamed of having a girl up here?"

" _Surrre_. Didn't you say your coven was famous for cloaking spells? I'm sure you managed," she looked at the unmade bed and smirked. Kai's lips pursed, a gesture that meant she had got one over on him. He tried to be sweet but often there were little lies wrapped up in those words. Sometimes big ones…

Kai looked at her fingers threaded through his, the raw red wound on her skin. "You're different."

"Because I'm your girlfriend?" she said and then bit her lip but the word was out. Kai's eyebrows lifted and his lips curled up slowly. His eyes shone playfully.

"You are?"

"Uh, well. Maybe?"

"You don't seem too sure."

Bonnie clucked her tongue and pushed his shoulder. "Stop it. You know what I mean."

He laughed and stood, enjoying her embarrassment. "You're cute when you get all flustered," he cupped her face and gazed into her eyes. "You're officially mine now."

He kissed her forehead and laughed throatily as he pulled her into his arms. When she pressed her chest to his she could not tell if it was her heart thudding so hard or his. His white t-shirt shone in the light from the window, making his hair glint and she thought of a plant struggling to grow in the dark, reaching for any sustenance. His ever present hunger was rooted deeper than magic and it never left her how she had found him. She had been days away from joining him in that lake…

"If…when we get out we'll do it together," she whispered and he looked down at her.

"Do what?"

"Live."

* * *

They had searched through every room, finding nothing but painful memories. As the sun sank Kai was itching to leave. He said it did not bother him but it was visible in the way he held himself, how he turned away rather than stare or touch anything in the house for a moment longer. Though disappointed they did not find any clues about the whereabouts of the ascendant Bonnie was just as relieved to be out of the house as Kai, who's mood picked up as they drove away. He sang animatedly to _The Police_.

" _Every little thing she does is magic, every little thing she do just turns me ooon."_

"You seem chipper."

" _Ask her if she'll marry me, in some old fashioned waaay_ …" he grinned and she rolled her eyes and looked away to hide her bashful smile. Kai sighed and left Sting to sing the rest. "I've searched through every inch of that damn house and grounds. Years and _years_. I think I'd be more pissed than happy if we did find something, just because I'm so sure there's nothing there."

Bonnie sighed, watching the trees flick past. "So what do we do now?"

"I dunno, what do girlfriends usually want when they're stuck in a time loop?"

Bonnie licked her lips as she smiled. "Hmm well we're able to go anywhere, no waiting lists…so _this_ girlfriend would expect entry into the best restaurants and clubs the country has to offer. Does that sound about right?"

Kai nodded as they neared Portland. "Sounds good to me. Thanksgiving is in two days, my favourite holiday…"

Bonnie grinned, imagining the finery of Kai taking her to a fancy restaurant, the clinging dresses she will try on and the amazing food he will cook for them. However along with pleasure came pain.

"God it's almost December. I keep forgetting what the real date is."

He nodded. "You can lose complete track if you're not careful. That's why I try to celebrate holidays, it helps."

Bonnie stared up at the clear dusk sky. "So we could be exchanging Christmas presents in 80 degree heat?"

Kai shrugged as he turned into the house they had been using. "Don't worry, I'll make it worth your while."

* * *

That night Bonnie dreamed of Mystic Falls trapped in a bubble, like a snowglobe only no flakes fell. The town was on fire and no matter how hard she pushed against the impediment she could not leave. Hands suddenly pressed beside her and flared red, sucking away the barrier. Fire leaped up around her and she screamed as her hands bled. She turned back but Kai stood in her way. His red hands were outstretched, as if to help but he laughed and laughed as the fire consumed them...

Bonnie woke with a start, sweat beading her skin. Heart pounding and feeling unnerved she got out of the strange bed and peeked in on Kai. He was asleep but tossing and turning. He was in the grip of a nightmare, just as she had been. She leaned over him but as she got closer his hands pulsed with red and he grabbed her leg.

"Kai!" she yelled, wincing as he roughly dragged magic from her. It took him a moment to realise what was happening before he let her go. He breathed raggedly, sweat coating his skin.

"Fuck. Sorry," he plucked at his t-shirt before pulling it over his head. Bonnie stopped him before he could get up to shower, circling her hand around his wrist.

"Did you dream of fire?"

He blinked, gulping and then nodded. "Mystic Falls under a weird dome. I think you were stuck."

They both nodded and stared at each other with confusion. "Just a nightmare, my nightmare," Bonnie said. She had once been plagued with visions but if that was the fate that awaited her than she would call it a figment of her imagination.

"How?"

"I'm sharing my magic with you. We're connected," she whispered and he leaned closer as she touched his chest. "It's okay, go back to sleep."

She moved to leave but he pulled her to him, his gaze hooded. "Don't go."

Bonnie sat, watching his chest rising and falling and the want for her was suspended around him was like a heat mirage. She could sink against him and melt, dissolve until only her magic remained. Would would they look like striped bare to their fundamental cores? Her magic a golden seed buried too deep while his magic a thing with teeth near the surface but inside there would be nothing, just a starving yearning for what grows inside her. She wanted to plant it in him, make it take root and flourish.

He touched her lips gently with his fingertips and she closed her eyes, waiting for the sting to come but his touch was replaced with the softness of his lips. The kiss was long and deep, taking time until all thought of the nightmare that brought Bonnie to his bedside faded. She moved onto her knees as Kai sat back and pulled her to lie beside him. She brushed her fingers through the hair over his ear, making him close his eyes as she leaned down to kiss him again. He was in a pair of boxers, Bonnie in an oversized t-shirt that stuck to her back. She glided her bare leg along his while her hand trailed over his chest, unintentionally tickling him. Kai pulled back with a smile but quickly captured her mouth with a growl. His hands rubbed down her back before palming her ass. He drew a finger underneath the lace and cotton fringing, an impediment between them, until Bonnie moaned into his mouth. She pulled back, gasping as she started to grind slowly against his hip. She was wet and her sensitive, hard nipples brushed against the fabric of her tee.

"God, I'm gonna lose it," he groaned and fisted the sheets below him but he did not siphon. She mewed and took hold of his hands and placed them back on her body. He bit his bottom lip as she dragged a finger along the erection denting his underwear. She did this three times before slipping her warm hand under the elastic and gripped his cock, freeing it. Kai groaned again and his head fell back against the pillow as she slid her hand up his length, paused and then pumped back down just as slowly. She moaned as his hand slipped up her shirt and palmed her breast, squeezing as she squeezed.

"Do we need condoms?" she asked and he froze, not expecting the question.

"I don't - I don't think so. Do you?"

Bonnie shook her head. She had not had a period since she arrived. Her hair had not grown and if she was like Kai she would never age. If her body did not change then how could she get pregnant?

"When we get out," she murmured and then kissed him hard, moving to straddle him. She drew herself along his erection, pressing it down against his belly and he whispered her name, his thumb brushing her clit through the soaked cotton. Her body was thrumming with desire, shock waves of it and she needed to feel him inside her. It had been so long, longer for him and as that fact settled so did she. He had not been with a woman for eighteen years. Bonnie bent down and cupped his face with a tender hand, her short hair framing his face.

"I hope this will be worth it."

"Worth what?" he asked, dazed. He was too aroused to really process what she said.

Bonnie smiled and touched her nose with his. "The wait. I know it's been a long time and I -"

"Shh, don't get performance anxiety now," he pressed his fingers to her mouth and she laughed, a gorgeous rich sound that filled the room. Kai sat up and pulled her t-shirt over her head, freeing her breasts. He stared in awe before kissing the valley between them, inhaling her scent. She started to tug down her knickers but his hands battered hers away and pulled them down her legs, making her lie flat until it looped around her ankle. Hands on his shoulders she gyrating her hips in a figure of eight motion, making him slick as she sat up, straddling him again. Kai closed his eyes tight, feeling how wet she was as his tip started to glide between her labia and further. He entered smoothly.

Mouth pressed to his she took him in slow, Kai not moving until he was deep inside her. She paused as they moaned together before drawing him back out and on the second try Kai thrust back in slowly. Bonnie moaned, eyes closed as he pulled out and thrust in again with more force. On the third and fourth thrust he moved in and out with ease, her walls contracting around him. His hands gripped her hips and back, her ass rippling with each of his thrusts, her nipples soft against his slick chest.

"That's so - god. I can feel your magic," he groaned and she opened her eyes. He smiled in amazement before kissing her, hands ringing her arms. He thrust harder, faster and Bonnie pulled back, gasping as she felt the familiar wave of an orgasm. It was too soon but this had been weeks in the making, years for him. She sat up, arching her back and began to ride him with abandon, gyrating and bucking. Kai swore and sat up, hands grabbing at her shoulder and back as he pressed her to him. Bonnie looped her arms around his back and leaned her head back, mouth open wide in a silent scream as pleasure rose and rose, waves of it that made her body shudder against his. Kai held her to him as he came, plunging upwards rapidly until his movements become slow and loose. His ejaculation felt hot inside her, coating her cervix like something molten. It was not painful but heated her from the inside out.

He collapsed, breathing heavily and Bonnie remained sitting on him, one hand pressed against his chest. They said nothing, just listened to the sound of their breathing and the pounding of their hearts. Finally when their bodies had cooled he pulled her down to him and stared into her eyes with an intense regard.

"I'm not your boyfriend Bonnie and you're not my girlfriend. This is more, so much more. There isn't a word for what we are. I don't understand what this is but in here or out there this is all that matters. You are."

Bonnie inhaled, shaking and nodded. "I know."

"Say it," he gripped her hair, gaze even more intense.

"You're all I love."

His gaze flickered with something. Shock? Joy? Victory? It was too fast to see before he pulled Bonnie down to kiss her but it would be something she would pour over at night in the terrible months to come.


	8. Chapter 8

She slept in the confines of his arms, both exhausted and aching. Nightmares that had pushed her into his room lingered, running along a cord between them as they dreamed. They intermingled and produced memories, visions and closely guarded aspirations. Kai was the first to wake, quiet and frowning. He stared at Bonnie as she slept, her face peaceful as bloody massacres gave way to visions of weddings and magical rituals. She saw them free and powerful, the focal point of a witch gathering who offered them blessings for the days ahead…

Bonnie woke alone with a smile that slowly faded. She listened as the dreams started to fade, hearing music from below. The smile returned as she pictured Kai making her breakfast, dancing to Whitney Houston. She stretched, rolling onto her back and groaned, hand to her stomach. It ached and as she sat up her limbs felt heavy. They had made love throughout the night, frenzied copulation that ended with shuddering orgasms and bite marks. He was insatiable and the attention left her wrecked but this listlessness had nothing to do with sex.

Her magic was greatly depleted.

* * *

"Aw I was gonna surprise you," Kai bemoaned as Bonnie entered the kitchen bare foot. He was wearing a frilly purple apron and she smirked as he waved a spatula at her.

"Breakfast in bed?"

Kai wrinkled his nose. "I don't eat and fuck in the same place. I'm not a savage."

"Liar," she stood on tip toe and kissed his lips as bacon sizzled in a pan. He pulled back, head cocking as she rubbed her stomach.

"Something's different," he dropped the spatula and took hold of her arms. Bonnie nodded.

"I feel kinda ill. Did – did you take my magic? Accidentally?" she asked haltingly. She had been sure that he had not while in bed but it was possible he had while they slept.

Kai shook his head, pulling his hands away. "Only the little you let me. I usually wake up if I siphon in my sleep."

She shrugged and wrapped her arms around his torso. "It's okay, it'll come back."

Kai hummed, looking unsure. "When I was younger I could siphon without trying, just soak it up out the air. It made the others feel kinda tired and achy. Sorry," he said and quickly kissed her forehead before turning back to the pan.

Bonnie moved away, satisfied with the answer, and reached over the table to get a jug of water. The black t-shirt she wore - Kai's - pulled up over her hips. Behind her Kai inhaled and then sighed, stalking forward. She smiled expectantly, back to him.

"You're not wearing any…Bonnie you're as kinky as I suspected and hoped," he growled into her hair as his hands slipped around her waist, fisting the shirt. She bit her lip, hands gripping the table top as he palmed her breast while the other dipped between her legs. The pan popped and hissed.

"Your bacon is burning."

Kai laughed and bent her over the table, his teeth grazing her ear as his fingers pumped. "After this I'm gonna tie you to the bed and lock the door."

"Wearing a frilly lavender apron," she laughed and then gasped as he spread her apart and thrust deep into her.

"Gotta wrap your wrists up with _something_ …" he moaned, pulling out before roughly flipping her over. The plastic jug fell, splashing a litre of water over the table.

"If _anyone_ should have their hands bound…" Bonnie countered as water soaked into her hair and t-shirt, making her body slip back and forth as he hooked her knees over his arms. He pushed back into her, his wet apron staining a deep red as their breakfast burned.

* * *

He made good on his promise and Bonnie reasoned she only saw the outside world the next day because it was Thanksgiving, Kai's favourite holiday. He had admitted to having little interest in sex after spending so long alone and the want surprised him. Bonnie felt no such confusion, her desire was constant and felt like electricity shooting through her at his gaze. She felt alive. She just wished they could both enjoy it with the benefit of being fully practising witches. That was a world unexplored for both and she could not wait for the day.

Thanksgiving morning he left early, telling her as she barely woke that he would be back by five. She spent the day groggy and even more drained but focused on the night ahead and what he had planned. It would not be a home cooked meal but something more elaborate and so she pursued closets of wealthy houses surrounding them and then small boutiques in areas untouched by fire. She made it back by two - after getting lost - and spent hours getting ready until she waited at the bottom of the staircase for him to arrive.

Five ticked passed. Five thirty. Six and nothing. She sat on the bottom step before the wide open door, listening for a car. Her mind wandered to the nightmare she had that morning. Kai had been chasing her, shouting at her to wait as she screamed at him in fear. She woke shaking. Going out and trying on dresses had been a much needed distraction. After another twenty minutes she stood and started making her way back up the staircase. Her chest felt tight, her magic and mood a sullen puddle.

"Wow, you look hot. Your ass is _amazing_ in that dress."

Bonnie stopped, lips pursing before she turned. She had found a long, figure hugging velvet dress. It was crimson, echoing the colour of his magic and showed an expanse of cleavage. She had rarely dressed for the sole purpose of enticing another but with Kai she felt compelled to. Now she wished she was in slippers and sweatpants. It was a petty feeling but she clung to it. She felt awful.

"You're late. Traffic?"

Kai, in a well fitted black blazer and pants, smiled widely up at her. "I flew. The turkey took longer to cook than expected but I'm pretty sure I'm early," he glanced at the clock and back at her. There was no guilt, just confusion.

"Two hours."

"I said I'd be back at seven."

"No you didn't. Don't lie."

Kai waved a dismissive hand and moved to the bottom stair. "Five, seven, whatever. Come on, I've spent hours getting this ready. Please?" he offered his hand and she stilled. A part of her, a large scary place like a dark wood, had been scared that he would not come back. That he would abandon her after having what he desired. Leave her with no magic and a sick body.

Bonnie pushed those doubts aside and smiled, lifting her hand towards him. He had spent the entire day trying to please her and only her. She took a step and wavered, vision going dark. She reached for the banister, missed it and her body pitched forward.

"Bonnie!" Kai yelled in alarm as she collapsed, her knees and thigh hitting the stairs painfully. As her head struck a banister she felt a jarring force envelope her body and heard a voice vibrating with power. Kai.

* * *

 _Her grandmother stood outside an old building, grass and trees swaying around her. Another woman sat beside her before an easel, painting the scene. Bonnie called to Sheila and she turned, beckoning to her. She looked young, younger than Bonnie could remember. She ran but her movements were slow as smoke rose from the building and her grandmother turned away. Another person ran out of the burning building, a little girl with long dark hair that rippled behind her like a sheet. She was terrified and Bonnie urged her to reach Sheila, to get away. A burning arm made of lava shot out of a dark doorway and grabbed the girl's hair, who screamed as it caught and started to burn._

 _Her grandmother yelled the girl's name._

"Eleanor!" Bonnie bolted awake in the dark, making Kai jump back. His hands shone red over her hips but as she shied away they balled into fists. He stared at her, mouth open.

"W – what did you say?"

"What? I – nothing. What happened?" she touched her head and felt a bump. Her thigh throbbed painfully as she sat up.

"…You fainted and fell down the stairs. I caught you before you hit the bottom."

"You used magic?"

He nodded and sat by her side. He sighed and rubbed his face. He was still wearing his suit, looking very handsome but strained. Guilt squirmed in her stomach.

"We missed it."

"It's okay. We can do it another time," he sighed again and plucked at the cover. "I did a body scan while you were sleeping."

"Huh?"

Kai lifted his hand and placed it over her arm, not touching her skin. His palm and fingers glowed a dull orange. "Your magic is weak because of me and not because of the magic I've been taking to store away."

"Since we had sex?" she guessed and he nodded and drew his hand away.

"I – uh, this is kinda embarrassing. I don't have much information to go on but I know conceiving for siphoners is hard. We're made to absorb magic, every bit of us. So that pain you felt…" he glanced at her pelvis and then laughed. "Fuck. First I can't kiss you and now this? I think someone is telling me to remain celibate," he smirked at her with exasperation but there was real frustration and sadness there. Bonnie shook her head and pulled him into her arms.

"Well _I'm_ not telling you that. Not to sound desperate but I'll probably start crying," she laughed and pulled back to gaze at him. "We'll just use protection."

"I'm not sure what good it'll do. I'll have to pull out," he covered his face and gave a dark laugh. "Fuck this bullshit. I hate being a siphoner."

"It's okay. Once we're free we'll see if there's some magic that can help."

A slow smile appeared on his face as he lowered his hand. "You still want to stay with me when we get out? Even after this?"

"Of course. I don't know what will happen when we leave, what we'll find. The only thing I'm certain about is you and us."

"Your friends are in Mystic Falls."

"And I'll let them know I'm okay," she answered and then sighed. "I was born there and I died there. More than once. If I go back I've got this feeling it'll all just happen again. I want more for myself…I want you."

Kai stared at her as she admitted this, his gaze deep and unwavering. "I want you too." He leaned forward and slowly kissed her, his hand cupping her face. They kissed for a long time, until the clocks chimed midnight and the meal that Kai had prepared beside the seaside disappeared in a blink.

They undressed, Kai helping her out of her dress, and lay beside each other. He spoke seriously, his voice soft. "When we get out people – my family – will try to stop me. They only see a monster, a freak and they'll do everything to make sure I don't become leader. Are you prepared for that?"

She nodded, smirking. "I've been a few fights in my time."

"I know but they hate me, they think it's justified."

"You killed someone…but you've paid for that in a way no one should. You said that the coven leadership was your birth right? That's the rule in your coven."

"It is. As first born it should go to me. Me and Jo," he added and she narrowed her eyes.

"You'll co-lead?"

"…No, not exactly. There's a ritual that decides who will lead. Whoever's magic is the strongest wins. You consume your twin's power, merging it with your own. I'll become mega powerful."

He grinned but Bonnie frowned. "That sounds awful."

He shrugged. "It's tradition. The way I see it I'll be doing Josette a favour. She hated being a witch," he looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought before he focused on Bonnie. "It's gonna be tough Bon. They'll try to banish me again but no matter what they do or say I'm not backing down. It's been the only thing that's kept me sane, gave me purpose…" he smiled at her sweetly. "I thought I was gonna do this all by myself."

"No you have me. I won't let anyone send you here again."

Kai cupped her face. "They'll lie and say anything to turn you against me. We'll have to find the ascendant and destroy it to stop them sending me back. You trust me, don't you?"

"I do…but you have to be totally honest with me," she whispered and he stared before looking back up at the ceiling.

"I promise."

They fell into a long, thought filled silence. She trailed her fingers over his bare chest, fiddling with the silver Gemini pendant he always wore. The sigil of his coven. She trailed her hand down to his belly button and suddenly snorted. Kai turned to her with a sleepy smile.

"What?"

"I just had a thought. Will I get a sore throat every time I give you head?"

Kai burst out laughing and Bonnie joined him, her stomach creasing as they fell into hysterics that left them breathless.

* * *

To make up for Thanksgiving Kai took Bonnie to a drive in theatre to watch _The Crow_. The movie was scheduled for release on May 13th 1994 and he had been looking forward to it. He had been imprisoned three days before. He had searched through numerous movie theatres until he found a reel. In the dark as the sound of rain lashed around them he pressed his lips to her ear.

"I'd do that for you."

"What?"

"Hunt down and murder anyone that hurt you."

She looked at him, mouth curled into a laugh but it did not get passed her lips. Was he serious? She didn't quite believe him and yet her chest constricted with a strange gratitude. She smirked. "…Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

* * *

She began to recover her magic and strength slowly, Kai not siphoning from her until she was strong enough. They were careful when they made love, which was frequently, if only for anything else to do.

Two weeks later they sat under a tree on a grassy bluff overlooking the river. The sun was setting behind a cloud of smoke but she barely saw it. As a witch she was attuned to nature, she could feel when rain approached or when flowers would bloom or wilt. It was as clear as someone calling her name. She rose and fell, fingers digging into the cherry tree bark above his shoulders. Kai leaned his head back, eyes closed with pleasure as the blossom above them shook every time she took him into her body.

"Can you feel it?"

"What?"

"The tree."

Kai said nothing, his hands on her rocking hips before he nodded. "It knows something isn't right. It should be dead, sleeping, it's roots frozen."

Bonnie nodded, looking at the furled tulips around the base. Time affects everything in the world, not just her and Kai. "When we leave they'll still be stuck in spring forever."

Kai chuckled, opening his eyes and pressed her chest to his. "Are you feeling sorry for a tree Bonnie?"

"What if I am?" she teased and then gasped, contracting around his cock. After they had eaten she had rolled a condom down his hard length with her fingers, lips and tongue. He had ripped the grass apart and created groves in the earth with his feet as she worked him to the edge before climbing onto his lap.

"You think you can sense nature now? You can feel like you're the wind and stars and birds. When – when I have my own magic we'll do the rite," Kai said as she arched her back and rode him fast, sweat covering her body.

"The what?"

"You'll see. God I can't wait to fuck you here with actual families having picnics. No cloaking."

"Kai!" she laughed and then wailed his name as she came, fingers rubbing her clit furiously. He finished soon after, teeth and lips biting her shoulder as he strained and then pulled out with an angry yell, coming into his hand. She rolled off him after catching her breath, pushing her skirt down as he pulled off the condom. He dropped it and then cupped her mound, spooning her back.

They watched the fire across the river as shafts of dusk light cut through the smoke. They were silent for an hour, as night settled. He spoke, waking Bonnie from a dream. The same one. The building was on fire and her grandmother was begging her to run, not away but _into_ the fire where a monster lurked. She always said the same thing. _It's the only way out..._

"Huh?"

"Those dreams you've been having. The fire. The wedding. _That_ one you have almost every night."

Bonnie smiled and buried her face into the grass. "What makes you think that one is mine?"

"Oh, caught me." Kai smiled before letting it drop. "That other dream we share, that old burning building and your grandmother…the girl. Who's that?"

Bonnie shrugged sleepily, stroking the arm around her. "Justa dream," she murmured and fell asleep. She did not hear what he said next.

* * *

December crawled on until Christmas Eve dawned. Kai, who was ridiculously excited to celebrate the holiday with someone else, went all out. They dragged a tree into the house they had been living in and spent most of the day decorating it. Though not as warm as the east coast it was still too hot to be wearing sweaters and drinking mulled wine.

Bonnie looked at the blue skies and blossom scattered across the street and sighed. "This sucks. I want snow and santa."

"Well not to spoil the surprise but –"

"No, you in a costume doesn't count," Bonnie wagged her finger and he pouted. She sat on the stairs before the front door. She had tried to keep her spirits up but they were no closer to getting out. She did not want to be here for New Year or god forbid her birthday. The nightmares have plagued her nights and days. Kai chasing her, screaming at her in a rage as blood dripped from her hands. Sometimes she jumped when he touched her, which only made her feel guilty at the hurt that flashed across his face. They had not mentioned it, Kai avoiding the subject, dismissing it as only dreams but often she got the feeling he wanted to say more.

Kai sat beside her and sighed. "I know it sucks."

"We've got the spell but Portland is a dead end. I keep dreaming about Mystic Falls, that's where we met. We could have spent the rest of our lives missing each other but we met there. I think the ascendant is in Virginia. It has to be."

He nodded and looped a string of gold tinsel around her neck. "Don't get mad but I kinda like this."

"You do?" she smiled.

"Trust me I want to be free but spending time with you with no one interfering is great. I've never felt this before. I didn't think it was possible, it's against my nature."

"Why?"

"Because most people are shit and not worth my time," he admitted flatly and she didn't know what to say to that. Kai left behind no friends or family who would miss him, he had nothing to look forward to, except leadership and that was fraught with obstacles and failure. That he would want to spend more time in his lonely prison just to be with her was heart breaking. And oddly warming.

"That's why you're stalling?"

Kai shrugged, looking away. "I guess. I also needed to make sure I could trust you."

"Do you?"

He gazed at her deeply and nodded. "You're pretty much the first witch to treat me like an equal."

Bonnie smiled sadly and took his hand before kissing his cheek. She laid her head on his shoulder and watched the clouds drifting overhead before speaking. "I have to be out by February fifth."

"Your birthday?"

"Yeah. Not because it's special or whatever. I just…" she licked her lips and struggled to speak. "Before we met I had this mantra in my head and it became a plan. I thought if I could just reach my birthday then something good will happen, a present to me…but then it changed. If there's no way out and my friends don't come then that's the last day."

"…What?"

"I planned to kill myself on that day. If I hadn't found you…I'm not sure I would have made it this far. I can't be here on that day, I can't bear the thought of being here after that, even with you," she admitted and Kai stiffened against her. She leaned off him and turned, expecting to see sympathy. He glared at her.

"Even with me?"

"What?"

"You're still thinking of killing yourself? Stranding me here alone?"

"…What, no! I'm just saying how hard it's been. I was so messed up and those feelings...sometimes they come back. I'm just scared. It's not about my lack of feelings for you. I love you."

Kai stood and pulled her up with him. He shook his head with disgust. "I thought you were stronger than that. That's what your grams said right?"

"Excuse me? Are - are you judging me?" she almost laughed but she was too shocked.

"Yeah, kinda."

"I found you floating face down in a lake!" she yelled, startled at how quickly the conversation had turned. Why was he so angry? "I thought you'd understand."

"I do but unlike you I lasted a _decade_ before I fucking snapped. When you die you're gone Bonnie, you're not coming back. Would you really do that to me?"

"No…But you came back. You were dead when I pulled you out of the water. I used my magic…" she trailed off when he smirked.

"That's what you think?"

"What's your problem? Why are you being such a jerk?!"

Kai sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I just realised recently that you were different and it...scares me. Apparently I become a dick when I'm scared. Everything in this world resets, nothing truly dies… _except_ you. Even the thought of it makes me wanna hurl. If you die I'll be stuck here forever."

Bonnie stared at him open mouthed, tying to process it. "…That's what you're more concerned about?"

He threw his hands up and balled them, jaw clenching. "Of course not."

"I think a part of you is."

"No I think that delusion is all you. Where's this coming from? Jesus, I'm not lying."

"But you did! There's so much you've kept from me and I just brushed it off. Knowing my grams and what Elena was. I just want you to be honest with me."

Kai looked aside, thumbs rubbing over his balled fists before he looked back. "Fine. I was dead yeah…but I don't stay that way. I've been here, all alone, for eighteen years. I'll leave you to do the math," he smiled weakly and sighed at her bewildered face. "Bonnie just forget it, it's nothing. We'll be out before your birthday okay?"

"No, you made me believe that I saved you, that I had my magic back."

"You did. When you found me, whatever you were feeling, it brought your magic to the surface. You needed to suffer."

"I needed..." Bonnie felt tears stinging her eyes as she looked at his calm face. "If you knew you would come back to life…Did – did you make sure I'd find you in the lake? Cause me pain on purpose?"

"Oh my god. What are you talking about?! I had no idea you were there. It was just a fluke," he growled and moved away from her, irritated and Bonnie followed.

"If I die I take away all the magic you need to get out of this place. Is that what this has been about? You – you've been taking my magic little by little for months. I hardly have much left."

Kai turned and his face was stricken. He showed his palms, pleading. "Come on it's not like that. I just said I've been putting off wanting to leave because I want to spend time with you."

But she could not listen, the pieces starting to fall in place. "You're waiting for my magic to grow in strength before siphoning me again. You've even stopped making love."

"You're twisting it. Without your magic _we_ can't get out so yes I have to wait. I swear there's nothing else. If all I wanted was your magic I could have siphoned every drop but I haven't and I won't. I thought you trusted me?"

Bonnie bit the inside of her cheek. She wanted to believe him but doubts blocked her. He had lied to her. Had she been too trusting and naïve, too desperate to have someone else to talk to? To touch? Professor Shane entered her mind suddenly, smiling at her with a gentle reassurance and something inside her cracked. Men she trusted using her for her magic. Friends who have left her in a world to rot when she would die for them. Why would her grandmother leave her here with no answers?

"If I refused to share my magic what would you do?"

His jaw clenched and he said nothing, just stared at her. Finally he moved aside and gestured at the road. "Do what you want, it's clear what I say means shit."

Kai left her on the stairs and got into his car. He stayed behind the wheel for a minute, sitting still before he drove away when she didn't move. Bonnie watched him go, tears rolling down her cheeks and gripped the tinsel around her neck until it bit into her hands.

* * *

 ** _a.n:_**

 _hold on guys, it's gonna to get bumpy!_


	9. Chapter 9

After Kai left she cried for hours, drank a bottle of wine and then fell into a guilty sleep when he had not returned. Maybe she had overreacted, her doubts about Kai's honesty and her suspicions that she would never be free forming a sickening mixture. He was guilty of omissions that were likely down to a mind made forgetful after a prolonged isolation. However lying about knowing her grandmother had been intentional but after spending a lonely night without him she chided herself. He had wanted her trust but worried that if she knew the truth about her family's involvement in his imprisonment he might never get it. She could believe he deserved to be imprisoned if Sheila Bennett was involved. She did not, no matter what he had done. What angered her was that for all his statements about Bonnie trusting him he had not given her the same in return.

* * *

Christmas morning she woke late, feeling disorientated and groggy. She was so hung over that at first she did not recognise the room she slept in. Wasn't the wallpaper cream and not red? The bed covers yellow? Was the window on the wrong side of the room? Bonnie sat up, spikes of unease shooting through her foggy confusion. She stared at the window, which did not show a view of the mansion across the street but snow covered trees.

"Snow?" she threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, going to the window. The usual spring scene was gone, replaced with towering pine trees and blankets of white snow. "What the hell?"

She ran out of the room, along an unfamiliar corridor until she reached a landing. A balcony overlooked a wood panelled room below. A huge Christmas tree, the same one she and Kai decorated, stood beside a panoramic window that offered a stunning view of a snowy mountain slope.

"Surprise!"

Kai walked into the room, beaming up at her. He was wearing a red novelty Christmas sweater which flashed green and red. She could smell turkey and bread baking. Bonnie, half convinced it was a strange dream, gripped the banister.

"…What's going on? Where are we?"

"Up in the mountains. It's early May but a few slopes still have some snow left. I moved you up here while you were sleeping. You said you wanted snow for Christmas," he motioned at the window and tree with a paper cracker. Bonnie, who still felt like her brain was slowly leaking out of her ears, tried to think.

"You took me here while I slept?"

"Yeah. You wouldn't wake up," he shrugged as she started to walk down the steps. "Kinda glad you were out of it, it wouldn't have been a surprise. So…do you like it? Am I forgiven?" he asked with a wince.

Bonnie reached the last step and stared at Kai in his sweater, at the innocent but apprehensive look on his face and wanted to laugh. Or slap him.

"You kidnapped me to earn my forgiveness? Romantic…"

Kai said nothing for a moment before bursting into laughter. "I kinda did kidnap you, didn't I? In a good, holiday cheer way and not the zip lock kind. Okay come on I've made you a hangover cure because I saw like ten bottles of wine around your bed when I found you," he ushered her towards a low slung couch and Bonnie gingerly sat. Half of her was considering making a run for it but the other half was reaching for the glass on the table.

"I had one and half bottles," she grumbled and took a sip. The drink was soothing and as it got to work infusing her mind she stared at Kai as he sat beside her. They had fought, their first serious disagreement and Kai's answer was to leave, abandon her. Bonnie swished the drink around the glass, not meeting his eyes as she spoke. "I wasn't sure you'd come back."

"Of course. I just needed to think."

"About what?"

"What you said. I get why you were freaking out. You're scared that we'll be stuck here forever and that fear just makes everything else worse. Yeah I lied to you and I shouldn't have…I wasn't sure if you would trust me after knowing your grandmother was involved."

Bonnie lowered the glass, shaking her head. "It's not just that. I understand your reluctance to tell me. If I was you I'd feel the same way. It's just that I have this feeling you're not telling my something and I can't shake it. You're not being honest and _that_ I don't trust."

Kai gazed at her in consideration for a long time before nodding. He sighed. "You're right. I do have secrets and I've wanted to tell you about them…I want to tell you everything, I want you to know and understand but I can't."

"Why?" she took his hand, leaning forward and he looked down.

"Because I think I love you and if you knew the truth you wouldn't take my side. You would leave me here."

"No I would never do that," Bonnie whispered, her chest tightening at his proclamation. He loved her too? He looked so confused and unsure as he looked up at her.

"I've told you about my family life, the way I was treated but it was worse than that. It seriously messed me up but my family take no blame or feel any guilt. They thought I was a monster and it got to a point where I just - I just _snapped_. If they keep treating me like a freak why don't I just prove them right? That's what they wanted, what he wanted…" he lost focus, not looking at her anymore. "The last year, I mean 1993, I spiralled and no one gave a shit. I did some things, acting out or whatever, got in trouble but it did nothing but confirm what they always believed. I never asked for help but…"

"You did," Bonnie whispered. Acting out was a cry for help for someone who had no ability to vocalise it because even if they did who would listen? Who would care? "Look at me," she urged and he did, blinking. "Tell me what happened in the woods?"

He shook his head. "I can't. I know you want honesty but nothing good will come of it. There are things you keep inside that you can't share with anyone right? Times when you went too far? Things you're not proud of? Magic…it can fuck you up so much."

Bonnie swallowed and said nothing. For a moment she felt the hot rush of Expression running though her body, the sense of power she held over everything. Life and death. The torment she could inflict at will, one that tamed immortals and brought back the dead. It was magic tainted with blood and on lonely, helpless nights she dreamed of ruling a strange dominion.

She licked her lips and picked up the glass again. "I understand. I'm not expecting you to share every dark secret you have, that's none of my business…but what I'm saying is those things that eat at you, that hurt you, I'll listen. I won't turn on you."

Kai smiled weakly and shook his head, still not convinced. "You're a good person Bonnie."

"If I am then you should believe I'll give you the benefit of the doubt," she replied with a small smile. He sighed and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you. I just don't want you to leave me. I promise this hasn't been about getting your magic. I care for you, I want to be with you and honestly I never expected that. My sister said I was heartless and I agreed. Guess we were both wrong," he laughed and then grew sombre. "So I'm sorry, especially for leaving," he stared at her with such earnest sincerity that she felt any resentment melting.

"I'm sorry too. You know I didn't mean it, about my birthday? I would never leave you here alone. I want to be free but if we can't find the ascendant then I'll accept it and we'll make a life here together."

Kai made a whining noise as he put his arm around her and pulled them back to sit against the plush cushions. "Make a life? What does that look like?"

"Well…every few months we could move to a new state, find a home or sleep in the woods, build a cabin."

"Like real witches?"

"Yeah. I'd have my magic back and share it with you. We'll practise together and create something amazing."

"Flying monkeys and midnight masses?" Kai asked and she laughed. It was a silly fantasy but at its core it held a truth. She wanted to spend her life with him, free or not.

"Our little coven will be the best in the world," Bonnie proclaimed, feeling vastly happier than she had the day before. Kai nuzzled into her neck, looking as content as she felt. Even her hangover pain was fading.

"The only coven…seriously though when we're out and all the drama dies down you and me will lead the Gemini coven."

"You want me to lead with you?" Bonnie's heart raced at the prospect. Their little coven in the woods was nothing to what truly awaited Kai. He would be ruling over an organisation that spanned millennia and covered the earth.

Kai sat up. "Come on look at me. Do I look like someone who runs a rich multinational, clandestine magical company?"

"You look like a kid who sells weed outside a mall," Bonnie giggled and Kai opened his mouth and then closed it.

"I was gonna get offended but that's too close to the truth," he laughed and pulled her closer to his side. "Seriously I'll need all the help I can get. I know you've got experience. Please?" he gazed at her with large, pleading eyes and she looked upwards in thought, humming.

"Okay, I might think about forwarding my resume. But I'm very in demand and cost a lot," she joked but her smile dimmed. She had never been rewarded for her work, only the personal gratification she got for saving a life or thwarting catastrophe. Actually building a life of substance with her magic, where it adds to her ability to live rather than tax it, would be exhilarating. Could she see herself ruling a coven beside Kai? The dreams of the magical ceremony came back to her, where she had been showered with flowers and Kai, looking very different with a beard and more muscle, had kissed her forehead. Witches clapped and cheered…

"Bon? You there?" Kai asked, pulling her away from the daydream. He was offering her a gift wrapped present. "I got you something."

"Oh god, I don't have anything for you," she looked around the strange room. She had made him a mix tape filled with modern music, mostly the Foo Fighters and Jeff Buckley. It was back in Portland. More presents were placed under the tree. Kai shrugged and watched her as she began to carefully rip open the paper until he got impatient and helped.

The jewellery case was lined with blue velvet, about the size of a thin shoe box. She shook it and heard a faint rattle before she prised the lid open. She gasped. A necklace, made up of small faceted diamonds and a blue sparkling stone, shone in the light from the tree.

"I know it's kinda tacky but it's one of the -"

"The heart of the ocean!" Bonnie cried happily and gently pulled the necklace out of the case. "Oh my god when that old lady threw it into the sea I almost died! Oh it's not heart shaped but it's close enough. I love sapphires."

She looked up at him with a beaming smile as Kai stared at her in bemused confusion. "…It's actually a diamond. What old lady?"

"Oh, right. It's from this movie you haven't seen yet. Titanic. When I was a kid I begged my dad to get me this necklace for my birthday. I was going through a Leonardo phase. I used to wear it to school," she laughed at the memory, especially as the movie had been a few years old at that point. Her fashion sense had always been a little eclectic, which Caroline had often helpfully pointed out.

Kai laughed, shaking his head. "It's not from a movie. It's the Hope Diamond."

Bonnie, who had been gently swaying the pendant to make it catch the light, froze before clutching it to her beating chest. "W-what?"

"I wasn't sure what to get you but you mentioned you used to go to the Smithsonian with your grandmother. So I flew there and got it for you."

He stared at her with a small, pleased smile. Bonnie blinked and looked at the diamond cupped in her hand. "…You stole the Hope Diamond from the Smithsonian?"

Kai snorted. "Can't steal something that doesn't belong to anyone. I've got more stuff too. Before you arrived I spent a lot of time collecting shit like that, just for something to do. I've got this warehouse in Boston that's got the Mona Lisa, the Crown Jewels, Ted Bundy's VW Beetle, the White Album and tones of other cool stuff. I planned to take some pieces with me and sell them on the black market for money," he shrugged but grinned at her awestruck expression. "Do you like it?"

Bonnie covered her mouth and laughed. "Oh my god! If I said no would you get me something else?"

"I'll get you whatever you want, everything is ours. I want you to wear that when you leave, even if it's under a sweater. People will think it's a replica but you'll know the truth. It's billions of years old and filled with power. Well, it was."

"I'll probably get arrested if I wear it outside. Holy shit, this is so amazing, thank you," she laughed again, in fact her face was aching from smiling so much. The mood change was a whiplash but she did not care. Yesterday was awful but right at that moment everything was perfect.

* * *

Kai had brought the red velvet dress she had briefly worn for Thanksgiving and the blue diamond shone against her bare chest, a clash of colours. After eating and drinking copious amounts they had danced. He had slowly stripped her out of the dress but for the jewel, whispering for her to keep it on as he fucked her. The heavy chain wrapped around her throat as she arched her back, the mattress pounded by his thrusts. It imprinted on her skin like a set of teeth marks.

* * *

They spent days eating leftovers, exploring the mountain, playing in the snow and formulating plans of where to look next. She was starting to mark time from one celebration to the next, rather than day to day. The anticipation made the static reality easier to cope with. Her nights were filled with a sated exhaustion, her magic left untouched. He had taken her fear of him just using Bonnie for her magic seriously and would not take it even when offered.

After welcoming in the New Year they were going to head back to Virginia. They had found the spell there and despite their failure to find the ascendant it was the next likely place. The Parker and Bennett family were connected over thousands of miles and, Bonnie was soon to learn, thousands of years.

Back in the mansion they had claimed Kai had left early to collect as many fireworks as he could. He was going to drive them up to a hill and set them off over the Columbia River, something he did most years if he was not in a major city watching it burn to the ground. It was trading one explosion for another but this one not so apocalyptic.

Bonnie moved around the kitchen, making cupcakes and snacks for later. She was not as skilled as Kai but she wanted to provide something. Wearing a pair of jean shorts and a white blouse she sat by the window with a sigh, touching her throat. She had worn the diamond for about a week before quietly slipping it back into its case. It was too weird and too heavy to continue wearing it but she appreciated the sentiment. Only Kai would consider stealing priceless artefacts as gifts and expect her to flaunt them.

Instead she wore the red velvet choker she had found in her mother's old room. The small gold disk was pinched between her fingers as she sat on the sofa. Kai had left as she slept, leaving her a note to tell her that he would be back in a few hours. Not for the first time she wished they had cell phones to communicate. She smirked and pulled out her own. Kai had almost filled up the memory card with pictures and videos of them, some that most certainly had to be deleted when they reached civilisation. He was very excited to finally get his own and she could imagine what a menace he would be on social media. She frowned as she swiped over the pictures of Kai and her friends, something bugging her about them but she could not say what. Tired she dropped it onto the floor and curled up on the sofa and slipped almost immediately into the most vivid dream she had ever experienced…

* * *

Her grandmother drove past Whitmore, the campus dark and empty at the late hour. Her passanger rested her head against the seat, hardly seeing the college before it vanished behind them. They drove on until a lake came into view through a copes of trees.

 _The lake where I found Kai_ , Bonnie thought but could not voice it. Her grandmother, who looked young, glanced at her and spoke softly.

"Nearly there child. Soon you'll be in bed and asleep before you know it."

"…I don't want to sleep, I don't want anything," Bonnie said except it was not her voice. Dreaming but lucid she realised that the body she was inhabiting was not her own. Straight black hair framed her face and her skin was like porcelain reflected in the passenger side window.

"I know Josie. We'll put that thing in the Armory. It'll be safe, I promise. Almost there," she said again and Josie looked down, Bonnie seeing through her eyes. An astrolabe, which is what Kai said the ascendant actually was, rested in the girl's blood spattered lap. She kept her hand pressed over it tightly, the dull metal edges cutting into her fingers.

Bonnie, who thought her grandmother was driving towards Mystic Falls, took a left down a narrow tree lined road until they reached a wide clearing. Nothing was visible. Sheila turned to Josie, calling her name repeatedly until she roused. The dark haired girl was clearly out of it.

Sheila Bennett took Josie's hand and smiled sadly. "I keep saying it but I'm so sorry Jo. You've been through hell."

Jo nodded and her hand reached up to touch the choker around her throat. She swallowed convulsively and then Bonnie could feel the torment raging inside her like a sea. "It's my fault. I should have just merged when he asked. I should have done what he said."

"No, this wasn't your fault."

"They'd be alive and I'd be dead. That's what should have happened," her vision blurred as hot tears surged over her eyes. Her throat was sore and her voice hoarse from crying. Her whole body ached from the misery she felt, Bonnie could feel it. More than emotional pain, her stomach was throbbing horribly. "I should be dead."

Sheila said nothing. She got out of the car and opened up the passenger side door and then pulled the weeping young woman into her arms. Bonnie, who could not control what was happening, began to cry as she slept. She could smell her grams and the words of comfort were so familiar it was tearing her heart apart.

She stroked Jo's hair. "He was responsible and no one else. He's been punished for it and you'll never have to see him again. Do you want that?" she asked, pulling back and Jo sniffed. She looked down at the ascendant and then nodded.

"My dad was right. He's a monster. He's pure evil."

Sheila said nothing, just nodded sternly and offered her hand. Jo gripped the device like she did not want to hand it over. Blood stained the metal and the girl.

"You promise it'll be safe? He won't get out?"

"The Armory was created to contain objects like this. Magic is baked into the very bricks."

"By our covens."

"That's right," Sheila smiled briefly. "My family and yours have been allies for centuries and that won't change. You'll stay with me for as long as you need Josie. You can finally meet Bonnie too. You can teach her some spells while her dad isn't looking."

At this Jo gave a flickering smile and looked up. She nodded and gave the ascendant to Sheila. "I don't have any magic anymore…Do it. Keep his key locked up so no one can get it."

Sheila nodded and took the ascendant. She patted Jo's knee, who stayed in the car. Bonnie, stuck in the car with Jo, watched as her grandmother raised her hands towards the empty plot of land.

" _Phasmatos Oculacs_."

One second there was nothing but grass and the dark of the night and then next an old, two story building appeared. The Armory. It was a mere five minutes away from the lake where she had first found Kai.

"My mother painted this place," she whispered and realised that she was no longer in the car but standing outside. Jo, who Bonnie finally recognised as the girl from her parent's wedding Polaroid, stayed in the car. She must have stayed with her grandmother that night, slept in Abby's room. She might have stayed for weeks, Bonnie could not remember.

Her mind whirling Bonnie watched her grandmother walk towards the entrance, her palm shining with blood, and pressed her hand to the door. After a moment it swung open and she entered. The key to escape was in Virginia, it was right in that building. Bewildered and scared of the truth she ran after her grandmother, calling her name and pulled open the door, which was still dripping with blood. Smoke billowed out, enveloping her and Bonnie staggered back. Heat hit her like a fist and she coughed, eyes watering.

"You have to go in Bonnie! It's the only way out!" her grandmother shouted and she spun around. Kai stood before her, his face stern and eyes cold. He slowly pulled a pocket knife out of his pants and then slowly flicked it open. Fresh blood stained his t-shirt.

"Kai?" she gasped as he prowled forward, no warmth or feeling in his gaze and she stumbled back into the smoke and heat. The little girl she had seen so often in her dreams cried out in fear and Bonnie ran towards her voice, running from Kai. The acrid stench clouded her, making her blind and as Bonnie spun around she tripped and landed on her knees. She opened her eyes and the smoke and fire were gone.

She was in a dark hallway, kneeling before a familiar flight of steps. The girl was lying in a heap beside her, her long silky hair framing her face. Even as Bonnie got on her knees she knew the girl was dead but the sight of her wide blue eyes, still looking surprised, made her want to vomit. A pool of blood started to spread under her head and Bonnie looked up, knowing the girl had fallen down the stairs. An accident?

"Eleanor? Get up."

Kai stood at the top of the staircase. He stared at the girl, his mouth parted in shook. His gaze was confused, as if he could not quite grasp what he was seeing. He clenched his fists and then wiped blood on his raspberry pink t-shirt. A cheery rainbow was in the middle of his chest. He looked back at the girl, who must be no more than ten, and a smile twitched his lips before he started to laugh. It was a tittering sound filled with madness. As it grew louder someone suddenly jumped onto Kai's back, screaming with rage. Bonnie gasped, her paralysis broken and jumped to her feet.

* * *

Bonnie landed on the floor with a thud, shocked awake. She sat up and stayed on the ground, her heart thudding and breathing ragged. The dream, the _vision_ , was still so fresh she expected to see the dead girl at the bottom of the stairs but the house was empty and filled with dusk light. Kai was not back yet, his car still gone.

"Oh god…oh god," she mumbled, rubbing a hand over her face and dragged herself up to sit on the sofa. She touched the red choker around her throat and tore it off, throwing it on the table. The choker had been Jo's, Kai's sister, and she had left it in Abby's room on the night of May 10th 1994. Something awful had happened, something that locked Kai away and made his twin travel thousands of miles to stay with Sheila Bennett, who stored the ascendant in the Armory for safe keeping…

Bonnie got to her feet, filled with a frantic energy. She should wait for Kai to get back, to talk about her dream but the thought of it made her shake. He was hiding something awful from her, he had admitted it and it all goes back to his house. In the dream she had run into the burning Armory and ended up in The Parker house.

"But there was nothing there. It was normal…" Bonnie looked at the mauve sky, unaware of the way her hands shook and not giving it much thought she grabbed the car keys and headed out.

Kai had promised to be back at dusk and as Bonnie headed north she imagined him turning up and finding her gone. What would he think? She was out for a walk? To get more fireworks for the display? She tried to keep her mind blank as she drove through the neighbourhood close to his family home but horrible thoughts dragged her under.

As she sped past a house along a residential street she frowned, something bugging her about it until it hit her. When Kai had drove them through the neighbourhood before there had been police cars outside one of the houses but now there were none. Again she tried to focus but her mind wandered. She had no clear idea _why_ she was driving to the mansion, only some primal intuition that told her that she _had_ to go.

"Okay. Everything will be fine. It's just a weird dream. I've never seen that girl before. Kai would have mentioned her…" she spoke to herself as she turned into the dirt road that led to the house. The sun had set and twilight washed out the golds and oranges, now casting everything with a surreal grey light. As the broken pillars that marked the start of the property came into view Bonnie slowed, frowning even more. Blue lights flashed in the distance, illuminating the trees and path.

Bonnie stopped the car, hands wrapped around the wheel, and stared through the windscreen. Police cars were parked before the house, a dozen of them. One of them still had their lights flashing and door open, as if it had just got there at the time of the reset. Mouth dry and hardly breathing Bonnie switched off the engine and got out of her car.

The night was growing cool, a light wind making her short hair flutter as she slowly passed the police cars. They were empty, of course, but she peered in each one. Police tape cordoned off the area as she came to the pillars. She stopped again, staring at the house. Flood lights had been placed on the lawn and the interior of the house was brightly lit up. The front door was wide open.

Bonnie, now feeling a leaden sense of calm, walked under the tape and towards the house. A bloody baseball bat was on the ground, brightly lit so the red gleamed vividly. A small plastic marker was placed next to it.

"Evidence," she uttered faintly and looked back up. She inhaled and stiffly walked up the porch steps and stood in the doorway. When Kai had taken her to the house it had been orderly and clean. Very clean, she had smelt bleach and polish and some of the tables had been wet as if recently wiped down. She had thought nothing of it.

The aroma of blood hung metallic in the air. Blood was everywhere she looked. It was splashed up walls, dribbled over floors and smeared across the glass door that lead to the swimming pool. A hand print. Kai had said the pool was off limits because of renovations. She took a step towards it but stopped, not able to take what might be beyond. Bonnie looked at the puddle of blood at the bottom of the staircase and pictured exactly who the blood belonged to.

"Eleanor…" Bonnie exhaled a shaky breath and heaved, hand going to her mouth. She sucked in rapid deep breaths, trying to calm herself, trying not to be sick. She should run away, get in the car but despite the way her skin crawled she moved into the house. She had to see what else he had hid from her.

There had been many pictures covering the walls, portraits of the Parker family throughout the years. Now there were more, pictures that had not been there before. Bonnie looked at a family portrait. Kai's mother and father smiled, their children standing or sitting around them. All seven of them.

"I don't…I don't understand," she whispered to herself, looking at the other children around Kai and Jo. There was Eleanor, sitting on Kai's lap, while around him stood two teenage boys and a sullen girl with dark bushy hair. The resemblance between all of them was uncanny. Liv and Luke, then babies, were in the arms of their parents. They were blonde like their mother.

Her heart was thudding so hard now it was painful. She thought back to that day she came, how Kai had behaved. He had been anxious before, hadn't he? His mood dark and secretive until one morning he had been filled with urgency, a need to take her to his home. He had been tired, yawning and sleepy the whole day. Bonnie looked at the blood, the pictures and police cars and knew with a surety that Kai had woken very early, drove to the house before her visit so he could clean or drive away all evidence of his crime. The reset had undone all his efforts, snapping everything back to its proper place.

Bonnie sank weakly onto a sofa, the picture still in her hand. Denials started to rage, that it was impossible and someone else was responsible, that Kai could not be the culprit. She would know. She knew monsters, she could sense them before even seeing them. She could not be fooled.

"I can…I was…Oh god no," she started to cry, the picture slipping from her shaking grasp. She inhaled, trying to contain her pain, to push it down and pull herself together but cries burst out of her mouth, unable to stay quiet. Folding her arms around her heaving middle she bent over her knees, staring at the family portrait next to her feet. They were just children. She stared until their smiling faces blurred and she lost all sense of time.

Someone sighed, a mixture of relief and reluctant acceptance.

"Well, I guess it's time. It was only so long it could last."

Kai stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets. He looked calm, if a little disappointed. Bonnie jumped to her feet, stumbling over the picture and stared at Kai with horror.

"You killed them!"

Kai looked at the picture on the floor and shrugged. "Yeah, I did."


	10. Chapter 10

Magic has a scent, the more powerful the witch the stronger it was. A siphoner, a freak of nature, could sniff it out like a shark sensing blood. That was one of the reasons he had been in Virginia, he had caught a faint scent that would come and go. A soft hum of magic that made his bones ache and jaw clench. He had been so starved for so long that he had convinced himself that any traces of magic he detected on the air was just his imagination.

Bonnie changed that. He had felt her, a latent undercurrent that shuddered from the ground, up his legs and back but he had dismissed it. She was an underground river of power deeply buried under her stifling feelings of guilt and anger. Even blocked she was one of the most powerful witches he had ever come across.

He had wanted to eat her whole, leave her hollow and empty in his arms. Not now.

Now he sighed and shrugged at her look of wide eyed shock. He found her fascinating in a way, how her emotions governed every aspect of her being, so intrinsically tied to her magic that they could drag it down like a lead weight. She was very, very brave because she was terrified but she could dissemble in a way he appreciated.

"What made you come back here?" he asked, taking a step forward. She took a step back.

"…That doesn't matter. You – you killed your brothers and sisters," she said it more to herself, her head shaking as her eyes fell to the picture of his family at her feet. Tears welled up in her eyes. "She was so young."

"Eleanor? I know. If it makes you feel any better she was an accident. I kinda snapped after her."

It was true. He had stabbed Jo and threatened to kill their siblings, drain them of magic, until she agreed to merge with him. Eleanor lying dead at the bottom of the staircase had been an unfortunate development. When his curly haired harpy of a sister had jumped on his back it had been lights out for him. He could barely remember, even now, just the giddy rush of blood and magic running through his veins.

Bonnie had moved around the couch, inching towards the door. "You don't even care. I can see it on your face. You're a psycho."

Her affront was diluting her shock. Kai smiled and shook his head. "I'm a sociopath, actually. Listen, I know all this is a big shock and you're probably thinking I lied to you–"

"Probably?! It's been months! You never once mentioned you murdered kids!"

"Cause I knew you'd react like this. You're a good person."

She shook her head, staring at the blood over the walls. Fuck the reset. He had woke up before dawn one morning to clean up, drive the police cars away so he could show her where he lived. In retrospect it was a stupid thing to do but he had to admit her finally knowing the truth was a relief. She would have found out one day so it might as well be now.

"I can't be in here anymore," she said and walked from the room. She didn't run, she walked with a rigid stride until she was outside. Kai followed at a distance, eyeing her from the porch steps. He held out his arms.

"There, now you know everything. My sister wouldn't agree to merge with me, I fucking lost it and I killed them. My dad, your granny and the Gemini locked me away for it."

She watched him take a humourless bow. Her magic got pushed down even deeper as her chin lifted, she inhaled a breath and a passive mask fell over her features. Fuck.

"I'm going home."

She turned on her heel and started walking. The smile on Kai's face dropped and he hurried to catch up, knocking over the evidence markers in his haste. He reached her, close to her back, but slowed as her fists clenched but she did not flinch. He admired that about her.

"Listen nothing has changed okay? The plan is the same. We're gonna find the ascendant and we're both getting out."

She said nothing and it was aggravating. He wished she would scream and cry, anything but this hostile, forced calm. It was tinged with indifference, like he was now not worthy of her time or attention.

She reached the car she had arrived in, the police lights flashing around them. She grabbed the handle but he snaked his hand around her wrist. It was the first time he had touched her and she stiffened. Their eyes locked.

"I'm not gonna hurt you Bon. I could have sucked you dry of magic, left you for dead but I didn't. I won't."

"…Why not? You're a sociopath, you have no conscience holding you back."

"Exactly. I've never had hang ups about taking what I wanted before, until you," he stared into her green eyes with sincerity. "You're the first person, the first witch, to treat me like a human being, like an equal despite being a siphoner. I never thought how much that would get to me but it does. You do. I've never felt this way about -"

"I don't wanna hear it," she twisted her wrist out of his grip and tried to open the door but he stayed pressed against her back, hindering her movements.

"It's the truth. I've been here alone for eighteen years until you arrived. I admit at first I was gonna take your magic once I found the ascendant but not now. I still want you to come with me. I need you to."

"And what?" she turned, anger simmering under her control. Her magic was like a volcano. "We get out, I let you out and you go on a killing spree?"

He frowned and laughed. "I'm not a serial killer. Well technically I am but that's semantics," he waved his hand.

"So you get out and what?"

"I merge, like I've told you. I find Jo, I win she loses and the freaks that make up my coven have a new leader."

"And no one dies?" she looked into his face, their bodies close.

He opened his mouth to answer but hesitated. Originally he had wanted every single Gemini to die, young and old so intense was his rage but over the years his revenge had shifted to those who had personally sent him to this hell. It seemed perfectly understandable to him and he knew there was a streak in Bonnie, a vengeful bitter anger that she kept buried deep that understood that need.

"Only those who deserve to."

Bonnie made a noise of disgust and shoved him away but he grabbed her arm again, pulling her against him. Her magic roared up within her at the movement, like he was shaking a cola bottle about to explode. He had been waiting months, very patiently, for her magic to emerge and he knew that removing the block was to make her vent her inner anger and helplessness at her situation. It was frankly unhealthy, even he knew that.

He stepped back and smiled. "Bon you're so fucking angry right now your magic is roaring inside you. Just let it go. If you wanna hurt me do it. I promise you'll feel better, I always do," he spread out his arms in invitation as she bared her teeth.

"You're fucking sick!"

"Just trying to help," he lowered his arms as she made a strangled noise and wrenched open the door. Kai pulled her back again. "Nah – ah, I'm driving." He got behind the steering wheel, still keeping hold of her, and watched her eyes darting to one of the police cars. His fingers tighten around her wrist. "Get in the car Bonnie."

His voice was soft but the threat was beating against her pulse point. He could and would siphon her into submission if he had to. Bonnie saw the truth in his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath in. She nodded and he let her go. Kai rifled through some cassette tapes as she got in beside him. He grinned as he found a tape and slid it in.

"I _love_ this album. You like Counting Crows?"

As _Mr Jones_ began to play, covering her silence, she turned to look out of the window. Kai shrugged and drove away from his house, the spot lights and police lights fading from the rear view mirror. It was always a relief to leave that shithole.

* * *

She spoke little but Kai was eager to talk. It felt like he could finally be himself now. He had been careful not to reveal too much about his past, firstly to see how long he could get away with it and lastly because he had sunk into some sort of needy softness for the way she spoke and touched him. His main goal, as ever, was to get out but he had stalled to just experience what it was like to have a strange but functioning relationship with a woman. A witch. He could do it and she had wanted it to. That did not have to change.

"I told you about my past, how I was treated. I never made that up. It really messed me up."

Bonnie watched the dark houses flicking past. He had been driving for an hour, not wanting to stop or let her out. He wanted her to answer him and finally she did.

"It's no excuse. You talk like you killed, I don't know, insects or something. They were your family," she looked at him in appalled judgement.

"If I had the capacity to feel bad about it I would. It's not like I can and I'm choosing not to. I literally can't. It's just not something I'm burdened with."

She bit the inside of her mouth and looked away. "You must feel so light. You must feel nothing."

"That's not true. I can feel happiness and anger, just like you. They just don't govern my actions. Well, not always. Come on how much do your emotions direct you? Your magic is smothered by them."

"I'd rather have my guilt and sorrow drown my magic if it meant I could feel. It's what makes you human."

Kai clenched his jaw, _The Smashing Pumpkins_ playing around them quietly. "Not a freak like me you mean?"

"I never said that."

"You're thinking it."

Bonnie turned to him, her gaze sharp. "You wanna know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking you're no different to those serial killers who target those who are vulnerable, men who have no conscience and kill without remorse. You being a siphoner has nothing to do with what you did. If you weren't born into a family of witches you'd be in death row with the rest of those killers."

Kai nodded in agreement. "I would yeah. You don't think I wish I had gone to death row in Salem rather than endure this? I should have died years ago. They have the lethal injection here, I'd be dead, _really_ dead but that would be a mercy. My family wanted to make me suffer this forever," he waved a hand at the empty road and the trees that flicked passed. They were heading out of Portland. "You have a conscience Bonnie, you're good but do you really think you'd get free and not want to get back at the people who think it's acceptable to punish like this? With no chance of pardon? Would _you_ want witches with all that power in your coven? No, fuck them."

She stared at his restrained anger in consideration until she looked away. "…I wouldn't have made it that long."

Kai watched her as she looked away, the sunrise still hours away. He wanted to touch her. "That's why I could never leave you here. I thought about it. If you tried to stop me, that's what I thought at first but that changed."

"How romantic," she murmured and he smiled briefly. She had not mentioned their relationship, the betrayal she must be feeling but it was in there, entwined more personally then her outrage at his crimes. She loved him, he was sure she did and that did not just disappear. It was like magic.

"I thought I'd get out, leave you behind for a short time until I merged and sorted my coven out and then come back for you. I didn't want you to find out. But then you got hurt and didn't heal like me so I knew I couldn't risk it."

"What?"

"Your life."

He watched the emotion flashing over her face, trying to parse them but it was too quick. Was she touched? Embarrassed? Either way her face settled into an expression of disbelief.

"If I tried to stop you from leaving you'd siphon me?"

"I don't want to. Come on Bon, this doesn't have to get messy. We both want the same thing. For now we'll just focus on getting out and then we'll talk about the rest."

"When I get out I'm getting as far away from you as possible," as she said it she pressed herself closer to the passenger door. Kai clenched his jaw and looked aside.

"So it was all bullshit then?"

"What?"

"Your feelings for me?"

She laughed bitterly in outrage. "Are you seriously asking _me_ that? I'm sitting here wondering if you're thinking about killing me and you're accusing me of lying about us?"

"Of course I'm not gonna kill you. It's like you hate me."

"You lied to me!"

"I told you I was a killer and that's why I was in here. You hang around with damn vampires and mind reading immortals who killed your family and friends. I think you're being a _little_ hypocritical," he held his thumb and fingers apart.

She inhaled an angry breath through her nose. "You lied through omission. You lead me on for months," her hands trembled and her eyes grew glossy.

"I did omit things because I didn't want to drive you away. But I never lied about what I feel for you. I might not feel as deeply as you but it's there. I didn't think I was capable but then I met you when it should be impossible. _Nothing_ has changed for me. You and me can rule, that offer is still there, that life and everything it entails. I want that, I want you more than I thought I could."

"…I don't wanna hear anymore," she said with a tired sadness and he realised as midnight approached that it was the now 2013 in the real world.

"Fine. Sleep, we'll be at the airport soon."

"Where are we going?"

"Virginia."

She nodded, thinking with narrowed eyes. "Good."

As she crossed her arms around her body he watched her sombrely. "Happy New Year."

* * *

It had just been a hunch but the fact that she did not complain about being flown to Mystic Falls, spending hours alone with him, and that she thought the decision was a good one proved his suspicion right. The ascendant was in Virginia and she knew where.

"…Armoury. In the lake…grams," she murmured in her sleep. She was curled up on the seat beside him. He was exhausted and had drunk copious amounts of coffee but they were now approaching their destination. He watched her sleep. He had been taking her magic bit by bit for months, transferring it into the duplicate ascendant he had made years ago as a means to remember what the key looked like. He had gradually slowed his intake as she became weaker but the real reason he had held off taking her magic was because it had formed an unforeseen link between them.

She dreamed his dreams, and vice versa, memories and wishes seeping along a cord between them. He had never siphoned someone over such a long period, aside from his twin but even that connection had not produce such consequences. Bonnie was a psychic, a seer and it was that ability even before her affinity with fire that she could readily access.

It had been unfortunate that she learned his crimes through the connection but it was not that which stung the most. He missed the feel of her in his arms, the sound of her whispering his name in a breathless rush in his ear. The adoration and affection, the _friendship_. It was new and until then something he could take or leave. Relationships had ever only been a means to an end, a swift and subtle manipulation or fleeting fascination on his part until he grew bored and moved on but this was unlike anything. It was verging into an obsession.

He was stalling his eighteen year escape and eventual leadership for her and she was now regarding him with scorn and a restrained rage. He was perversely relishing it. The challenge, the friction rubbing against his resolve was edging on erotic. He had a mission to accomplish, and he would no matter what but god, he wanted this woman and all her restrained hostility and hurt by his side. If he could win her back, if he soothed that betrayal they would be fucking unstoppable together.

But right now she was a volcano harbouring a secret and would burn him alive given the right pressure. He had to be patient but his escape was so close, he could feel it thrumming through his body.

* * *

They drove passed Whitmore College, the lawns empty but filled with telescopes in the morning light. Kai watched her peripherally as she eyed the trees concealing the lake. He smiled, humming along to music. They had eaten hastily at the small airport, wanting to reach Mystic Falls before the eclipse.

"Where we first met."

"Did you know I was there?"

"Nope. Honestly, I had no idea. I was there because your grandmother taught at the college but I found nothing. I took a couple of pills, floated on my back watching the eclipse until I fell unconscious and drowned."

"Even though you knew you'd come back?" she stared at him with something like pity.

"I started to think of it like playing the lottery. You play enough you gotta win some time right?" he smiled and shrugged. "I was desperate."

She nodded in understanding and rubbed her face, yawning. "You think the ascendant is in Mystic Falls?"

"No, I think it's in the Armoury," he watched her carefully and was proud at her concealment but he still laughed. "You talk in your sleep Bon. You kept mentioning your grandmother, that place and the lake. You know where it is."

She looked straight ahead, watching the lake disappear. They were only a few miles from her home town. She sat back and turned to him. "How did you know I was at your house?"

Kai raised his eyebrows at the unexpected question. "Oh. I found this," he rummaged in his pocket before bringing out a red choker. "My sister Jo was wearing this that night. I actually gave it to her. Well I stole it. It's seared into my mind, it looked like her throat was slit every time she swallowed." He swung it, making the gold sun attached to it catch the light.

"…I found it. I dreamed of the house while I was wearing it."

"The house and what else?"

"Nothing," she clenched her jaw, avoiding his gaze, and his patience started to thin. He pulled the car suddenly to the side of the road and stopped. He smiled at her, the choker still in his hand.

"I know you're lying. You're psychic and you've been seeing things. My little sister at the bottom of the stairs, a fire and a wedding, right?"

She swallowed at the mention of the wedding. "It was dreams. That…gathering never happened."

"No…but it could," he said it gently, almost hopefully and she bit her lip. "Listen if you don't want to see me again I get it. I'll stay in Portland and never see you. Do you want that?"

Bonnie breathed quickly, frowning as she answered. "Do you?"

"No. You can hate me for the rest of our lives but I won't give up. I'd prefer it if you didn't," he smiled softly and leaned closer and his eyes were ice. "But that won't ever happen if you continue to stall or plan to trap me here. Are you?"

She stared at his hard, calm eyes with a gaze just as strong. "If you plan to kill witches out of revenge then I'll keep you here, even if I have to stay."

"Come on!" Kai shouted, hitting the palm of his hand against the steering wheel with a slapping noise. She jumped but kept her cool. "Are you so fucking cruel? Don't I mean anything to you?" He stared at her with an angry hurt and it was intense but he knew it would pass.

"…I don't know anymore."

"You'd stay here just to punish me? You'd do that to yourself? That's _crazy_ Bonnie. I know you have a habit of self-sacrificing but no one is asking you to. I'm not and never will. What the fuck for? Some people you've never met? You know if they knew you were in here with me they wouldn't care? Just be a little selfish for once," he finished with a small, exasperated laugh and she looked away with a tight smile. She stared at the trees for a long time before speaking.

"If I asked you not to kill anyone, if I begged you, would you respect that? Would you respect me?"

Kai stared at her for a long moment. He had been holding onto the sweet prospect of personally hunting down and killing those responsible for his predicament, it had given him a purpose but the hate had fizzled. He wanted to be a witch, he wanted no one to mock him or abuse him for what he was. Merging would give him full access to magic, not this leaky bucket of an ability he possessed.

Could he respect her wish not to kill? Yes but with an amendment.

"I promise not to kill them with one exception," he leaned closer, holding a finger up. "I'm going to find Josette and we're doing the merge ceremony. One of us will die but it's not up to me. It's not a fight. The powers above and below weigh which one of us is the strongest and that person wins. They absorb their twin's magic, doubling in strength, and the leadership passes from my father to that person. If it's not me and Jo then it's the other set of Gemini twins."

"Liv and Luke?"

"Bingo. This was never their fate and it doesn't have to be. I'd be saving their life."

"How noble," she deadpanned and he groaned.

"Come on Bonnie. This is Gemini tradition and Gemini business. It's messed up but it's got to happen for the survival of the coven."

Bonnie gazed at him and the choker now resting across his lap. "She could win?"

"She could but she won't. Even as a siphoner I'm more powerful. She hated being a witch and the prospect of leading. I don't."

"But you could die?"

He nodded. "Yes. Finally," he joked but grew serious. "I've waited my entire life for this and I thought either way it's cool. I win or I die…but then I met you. I wanna live, I want that chance even if you and my family believe I'm not worth it."

She shook her head. "It's not about what I feel Kai. You did something awful and if you get out...It's about being worthy of your position of power and the people who you'll lead. You and me…that's not important anymore."

"Yes it is. Yes it is. Listen I've done my time, in a way no one should. I've paid and now I get a chance to do things right. I don't know what will happen when I merge but if you want me to prove that I can do this then I will."

 **"** Be a better man?" she asked scornfully and he snorted and shook his head.

"No, I don't even know if that's possible. I mean be a good leader, to witches _and_ siphoners. You can take it or leave it but just know that what happened these few months was real. None of that was a show or a con. I think I really do love you."

That timid, guarded stepping forward to him got slammed back under a shield and she looked away with a stoic expression. Kai cursed himself internally but it was worth a shot. He had no idea if it was love or not but whatever it was it was real to him and that was all that mattered. If she believed him, if she felt even a tiny bit of pity or understanding then it was enough. He could work with the smallest amounts given to him. He would have her. He would have everything he wanted.

* * *

They drove towards the Mystic Falls sign when Bonnie told him to turn around and drive back. Maybe it was the prospect of doing another fruitless search for the ascendant when she knew exactly where it was. Maybe it was having it so close that she could not resist. Maybe she knew that if she tried to slip away on her own he would find her and it would end up being a messy cluster fuck. No one had to get hurt. It didn't have to be hard and it seemed to him she was in agreement.

"Are you serious? It was right there the whole fucking time?" Kai asked as she directed him down a narrow dirt road mere minutes from the lake where they had first met. Bonnie lifted her eyebrows.

"Apparently."

She was quiet and avoiding his gaze but the rage she had been holding back seemed to have eased. Now she was calm but distant. Maybe she trusted that he would not hurt her but still smarting at his lies. It was understandable. They stopped before a large field, the woods leading to the lake in the distance. There was nothing else. Bonnie got out and he followed, eyes narrowed against the climbing sun.

"Is it cloaked?" he could feel a very faint hum in the air, so the magic was either very weak or powerfully concealed. He guessed the latter.

Bonnie walked forward a few paces and held out her hand. "It should be right there."

Kai moved to her side and smiled down at her. "I don't have any magic."

She gave him a lidded look before pointing at his pocket. "Guess you'll have to use the fake ascendant, won't you?"

Kai grinned as he took it out but inside he was wondering if she would ever let him near her again. The loss of magic was disappointing but he was used to it. Being denied her, a closeness after being starved of touch, was worse. As a child he often felt jittery and uncomfortable when he was surrounded by magic but unable to take it. He had been desperate, like an addict but as he grew he learned to control it. Now he had to stop himself pulling her into his arms. Having the object of your affection also brimming with magic was a confusing situation.

He thumbed the fake relic and felt magic within it. He had used some of it recently and it was a little weak but enough to do a simple uncloaking. He pulled magic from it, biting back his sigh of relief. He handed the circle of metal to her and held out his hands.

" _Phasmatos oculacs."_

An old, two story Gothic style building appeared, taking up most of the field. Kai looked at it happily while Bonnie nodded to herself. She watched him as he strode forward, reaching a door and tried to open it. It would not move.

" _Motus_! Come on!"

"It doesn't work like that," she said behind him and he turned to see her pulling out his pocket knife. When the hell had she got that? He watched her flicking it open and then nicked the fleshy part of her arm. She pressed her hand in the blood and then her palm against the door.

It clicked and swung open.

"Sealed with Bennett blood but cloaked with Gemini magic," Kai assumed aloud, looking up at the building. It was hundreds of years old. He smiled at Bonnie softly. "Our covens have always been allies."

Bonnie looked at him impassively and flicked the knife closed. She entered and with a giddy excitement he followed. Inside large windows shone down on many glass display cases and tables. The magic hit him like a punch as he entered and he had to stop for a moment.

"Do you see it?" she asked, inspecting the cabinets.

"Can you feel that?" he asked in stead, shaking slightly. There was a reservoir of magic under them, pulsing up through his body. Bonnie paused and then closed her eyes before she inhaled.

"Yeah."

"Jesus no wonder my parents never told me about this place. We have an archive but this…there's dark magic here, powerful."

He moved around the displays, looking at the relics with a hungry appreciation. Bonnie searched through the other side of the room, looking at her watch. The eclipse was soon.

Kai stared at a crown made of opals and hummed. "I noticed you're not wearing the necklace I gave you."

"Not really my style," she answered distractedly and he smiled.

"You realise this place belongs to both of us? There are Gemini symbols all over the walls."

"But it's in my back yard."

"We'll share," he said and turned. His smile dropped at once. Bonnie was holding a circuit of metal but unlike the one he had made this one was smaller. It was half way into her pocket. He stalked over quickly, Bonnie backing up until she hit the display cabinet she had opened.

"I just found it."

"Uh huh. It's not like you have any magic and were thinking of going without me, right?" he asked pleasantly and held out his hand. Bonnie looked up as the room grew dark. The eclipse.

"Don't you trust me?" she asked and her disdain was a visible thing. She smiled thinly and then placed the real ascendant in his palm. Two things happened at once. The eclipse started and the ascendant suddenly shattered as it made contact with his skin.

They watched in shock as cracked pieces of the ascendant scattered to the floor. Kai's eyes grew wide and white hot rage flooded him. Body stiff with outrage he balled his fists and screamed at the floor and then snapped his eyes up as Bonnie shifted.

"What. Did. You. Do?" he demanded, breathing heavily and moved until he was pressed against her. The metal clinked under his foot.

"Nothing. Get off me!" she yelled and pushed him away but his attention was drawn to the ascendant. He dropped to a knee and reached for a large piece of metal. It moved away from his fingers like it had been repelled. He tried again, making a grab but the pieces slid away.

"What the fuck!" he looked up, knowing that they had about four more minutes of the eclipse left. Bonnie, seemingly frozen with shock, got on her knees to try to help. She picked up a piece and they both frowned.

"I think – I think it was enchanted to destroy itself if you touched it. Like the paper at my gram's house."

"Fuck that! Make it work!" he yelled and she glared at him.

"Calm down and let me concentrate," she said and Kai inhaled a deep breath and held it, counting to five in his head. Fuck he was seconds from losing it. He was boiling with the injustice of it. That his family would give him a way out, hope, only for it to fall to pieces at his touch. But it was not a cruelty, was it?

"…It was never made for me," he said quietly as she quickly pieced the ascendant together like a puzzle. Her bloody hands shook.

"What?"

"Gemini and Bennett. You can touch it but I can't," he thought back to the day of his imprisonment, his father in the woods with the ascendant in his bloody hand. Kai had assumed that it had been his blood but maybe he had got it wrong.

"I think that's it," Bonnie said in a shaken voice and looked at her watch. Two minute.

"Okay, okay," Kai inhaled again and then began to recite the spell to get out. After Bonnie found the scrap of paper he had learned it off by heart. The relic in her hands did nothing and for an agonising moment they both thought it was broken but then the wheels and cogs started to move.

"Yes, yes, keep going," he murmured at Bonnie took up the chant, her eyes closed and he had no idea whose magic was being used to power it. He had been unknowingly soaking up the power around him, it was overwhelming but it was nothing to what he was feeling. He was going home.

White light beamed down around them and they both gasped, staring at each other. Her eyes where a dazzling jade green in the light and unable to help himself he pulled her to him, siphoning indiscriminately. The light yanked them upwards as Bonnie screamed in pain and then the light was gone and she was panting against his chest. Kai kept his eyes closed, saying a farewell to 1994 and opening them to 2013.

"Did it work?" she asked, leaning off him. The cracked ascendant was gone. Kai looked upwards.

He opened his mouth to answer, to give an affirmation. He even imagined kissing her and her kissing him back in the relief but none of those things happened. Bonnie looked at the window and shook her head.

"No…No, that's not right," she stood up, shaking but Kai was still staring at the eclipse. The moon moved away from the sun and light shone back into the room. Bonnie cradled her head. "It didn't work? I don't understand," she looked at her bloody hands, shaking her head. "The ascendant is gone."

Kai said nothing, just felt an old but familiar redness settling around him. It was ice cold and it was the only thing holding him back from decimating everything he saw. He got to his feet and stared at Bonnie and she blinked and moved back. It was the first time she had looked scared.

"If you've done this to me…" his voice was emotionless.

"I didn't. Maybe it was the wrong ascendant? Look, there's others in that cabinet," she pointed but Kai shook his head. They had used the right one, he knew it.

"Did you grandmother send you here to fuck with me?" he asked. A part of him knew he was being irrational but he was too far gone to care.

"Don't come any closer," she warned, finger pointing at him and he smirked.

"Oh Bonnie I'm never gonna let you go ever again."

Her eyes widened and she suddenly picked up a huge vase and flung it at him. Kai dodged it but it shattered against a cabinet and a piece of it cut his cheek. Bonnie used that time to escape and by the time Kai looked up she was gone.

* * *

Had she started to trust him? Had she been that foolish and soft? The promises and declarations were burning away under the look of utter emptiness in his gaze. Bonnie ran through the grass, towards the treeline and she tried to breathe but her heart and lungs were pounding. He had the car keys. She could burst with what was inside her, she could burn everything down.

She reached the shade of the treeline and looked back. Kai was running after her, shouting out her name and she ran faster, jumping over logs and picnic baskets. She got near to the lake, buffeting a group of children in her haste, and it was only when she burst free from the trees did she stop and spin around.

"…What?"

"Wasn't the eclipse great?" a young woman asked her, standing beside a telescope. Around her more people stood, a few wearing Whitmore tees. Bonnie blinked, looking around the lake. There had to be hundreds of people there, eating and drinking, gathered to watch the eclipse.

"What – what year is it?"

The college students frowned but the woman with the telescope answered. "1994. May 10th 1994."

* * *

 ** _a.n:_**

 _Boom. On the show the 1994 ascendant cracked and was broken and I wondered if that would mess it up in some way..._

 _So sorry for the long wait, I was struggling with this chapter. I hope you like it!_


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